Tuesday, July 31

Leroy working late again

That's not really a bad thing though because the rain keeps him from working and it it suppose to pour down tomorrow. I won't complain though, not after the drought we had!!

Leroy and I talked a lot about some of the issues we have been having. I think he understands how I am feeling now and I know how he feels now too. I have to keep in mind that his opinion has just as much value as mine, and that I am not always right, although I always feel I am. Neither of us are perfect. But we both love one another.

Now I just want to get to the point where I can talk to my teenage son too. I know I say things that hurts his feelings, but he should be at an age where I have to keep telling him things over and over and over and over and over and over and over, etc. I think I will see if I work on how I talk to him, if he will work on doing what he is suppose to. Think that will work?
Count Down!!!!

Just three more work days before our vacation and I get to see my sister after 25 years! That still just amazes me. I can't wait! I just wished school didn't start on the 8th of August. Who ever heard of school starting on the 8th of August. We will be leaving Tampa about 2 or 3 a.m. Saturday and coming back Tuesday the evening of the 7th. I am really looking forward to it, which doesn't do me any good at work........I'm just waiting for my vacation!
Work, Work, Work

I have a new young lady that started yesterday, who is going to help with our job development. Enhance the relationship with our existing employers etc. Remember I work at a non profit organization helping people find jobs. Hit the icon for Econonmic Development when you get there and then the Career Resource Center.

Monday, July 30


Sorry folks, just good ol' tomatoe soup and crackers tonight.

The girls are already showered and Georgie is playing his PlayStation. Jake is fixin' the cage for the Iguana. We had a chicken wire cage and we put him outside, but he wouldn't eat and was looking sick so we put him back in the 20 gal. tank in the house which is much too small for him. Anyway.......now he hasn't pooped for a week, but he is fat again ;-). So we brought the chicken wire cage in the house and Jake is putting newspaper in the bottom. I'll bet he goes when we put him in there. He loves messing up a clean cage and he always goes when he gets nervous.

Welp, now Daddy is home and Georgie needs to get in the shower and I want to see how Moe the Iguana reacts to the cage change ;-)!
Yesterday's post

I got a worried email today about the post I posted when I was mad yesterday, so I went back and read it over to see if what I said was that bad. You know what, IT WAS! Jesus Christ, what an attitude I get sometimes! But you know what, it felt so good to get it out! It's a lot better than saying ugly words to your spouse that you can't take back, and I don't mind tellin' you, I wanted to say ugly words ;-)!

The whole thing seems so funny now. It was all about Jamila getting a third bowl of cereal and Leroy calling her greedy. It hurt her feelings or so I thought. Once she got the cereal, she was okay. Anyway I felt like he was a big bully and how dare he hurt her feelings! Now think about it..........does that sh*t make any sense? Today, to me, it doesn't. Yesterday, it did.

As far as his daughter goes. I'm just glad she called at all. It has been a LONG time and I know how badly he feels about not having contact with her.

Children are selfish you know. Jamila is, so is his daughter Markeda. Parents are endless sources of whatever they feel they need. Jamila had already had two bowls of cereal, but I'm sure she never considered one of her sisters or brothers might have wanted another bowl, and by the same token I'm sure Markeda has never considered that we already pay her Mother $350 a month in child support, and we truly have no extra money. Had I known this would have came up, I could have started saving a long time ago. I told Leroy that it would probably be possible, now that she is 18, that we could make those checks out to her and she could use that for the car, but he said that wouldn't be enough (yet I don't know why not!). You see we are only obligated to pay child support now, until she graduates high school which is probably 2 semesters. I don't know what he plans to do. He even talked about selling his truck (which is his pride and joy).

So.....as you can see......relationships already aren't easy, add a mix of kids, even the mix of races, and you have unique problems. One thing though, if you truly love someone, you communicate, comprimise, collaborate, and do what it takes to have a happy family. As long as both partners are willing to do that, it will all work out. This is my sermon for the day.......

Sunday, July 29


I must post what's for dinner for my friend KindlyRat, a link to whose page you will find at the bottom left, and if he starts calling me Grandpa, he's going to get it! Anyway........we're having hot wings, turnip greens, cornbread, mashed potatoes and salad. I had a chef teach me the secret to hot wing sauce. Know what it is, half margarine and half hotsauce. K.I.S.S. Also it is important you cook the wings nekkid, i.e., no spice at all......and that is the secret. Georgie made the cornbread again, we use Jiffy Mix and add maple syrup, so it is sweet. I add lemon pepper to the greens and I really wanted mashed potatoes for days although it doesn't really go with the meal.

Uh oh, have to get the last batch of wings out..........
Never post when you're pissed

It makes you sound like a whiner. Okay I vented some, don't hold it against me.
My children, your children

Sometimes it sucks when you marry and you have children and he has children. The children try to play you against each other and any comment you make is taken as a "my children" issue. I have went out of my way to insure that my children are considered Leroy's. I truly believe that if a man raises and financially supports children that are there we he got there, that they should be considered his and he should have certain rights pertaining to those children. This is.....if the child's biological father chooses not to be active in that child's life. Yet if I comment, it is because they are "my children". I comment because I am "their mother" and I can friggin' comment on anything pertaining to them any friggin' time I want to, and I do not give a shit who I am commenting to. Yes, they are "my children" and they will always be "my children". Whether or not he feels like they are "our children", that is the issue. He can comment when I do something he feels inappropriate, but I can't. What kind of shit is that?

Yet, when "his daughter" calls only when she wants something (this time a car). I have no right to comment at all. Why hasn't she called when we send Christmas and Birthday gifts? Or at ANY other time at all. But if there is money to be had, all of a sudden there is a call.

I am tired of being the bad guy. I have done all I can to share my life with the man I married. That includes the bad and the good. I do not deserve this bullshit.

I am turning into one of those people who complain about their spouse all the time. I need to keep this to myself, don't I?
World Map

Why am I obsessed with little dots on my world map? On the left hand side you will find a link that says "World Map", click on it, and just put a little dot on it. That's all I ask. One little dot ;-). If I got as many dots as I got visitors, the map would look like it had chicken pox.
Good Morning

Well, Jake comes home today! It's about time. Although the week has flown by, I kinda miss the fart head.

It's a nice morning. Leroy has the kids cleaning their rooms, which I have been trying to get done all week and I can't seem to get accomplished. I am going to make cereal this morning, but I have no clue what I am going to make for dinner. I am open for suggestions.

Saturday, July 28

Day's End

I've gotten the girl's hair done (Jamila, Lee Lee, and Destiny), washed, conditioned, detangled, and braided. I finished most of the Family Details page, that is listed on the right hand side of this page. That way folks can know who I am talking about. I have just got out kids right now, but I can expand it to include other folks I talk about.

I can now make as many pages on Homestead as I want, so I might start a recipe main page with links to recipes. I've been asked to do that before and it might be fun. Maybe I can get my sister Paula to contribute to it. She does a mean Chicken Enchilada. I could get lots of people to contribute their favorite recipes and try them out before making them part of the site ;-)!!!! I have to think of a name for it......maybe the Cheap Recipe Site ;-)!!!

I made Sloppy Joes and green beans tonight, and I still have heart burn. I've been hungry all day long and snacking. That's just what I need. Well I think I'll go take a look at what some of my favorite folks have been doing......
Back from the store

The kids just about ran me crazy at Kash N Karry. I have all the groceries in the house, and am eating left over pizza. I am going to go start watching "Bojangles" which we rented from Blockbuster last night, and put stuff up in a half hour or so. I could really use Jacob right about now. ;-)
Back Awake Again

I am beginning to feel like I am just spending short amount of times between sleep. I do feel perkier this time though. I am waiting for the kids to clean their rooms so we can go to the grocery store. I hear Destiny crying in there, Jamila just came out and told me Destiny is crying because she tried to beat up Lee Lee and Lee Lee wouldn't cry. See when I have my page on FAMILY DETAILS done you can just click there and know who the heck I am talking about the things will make sense to those who aren't regulars ;-).

I guess today is the day I will steal the little icons I love so much from Yard Sale , whom I affectionately call "KIDDO". He has some really neat little icons for AIM and MSN Messenger that he said I could steal a long time ago. I don't have ICQ, but from what I've heard it's too much of a pain anyway.

Guess I better start getting prepared to go shopping........

Friday, July 27

Home Early

I ened up having to come home early. It's like I have no energy at all. I got home about 2:30 p.m., and slept until Leroy got home about 4:30. I have laid out hamburger meat and really should think of what I can do with it., but it may go in the fridge and I amy order pizza. One thing that is NOT suffering is my appetite. I managed to grill lemon pepper chicken last night. We had a big storm and our electricity got knocked out for quite a while, and the gas grill was out of gas, so Leroy went in the storm to get gas so we could have dinner. I grilled the chicken and some corn and the kids loved it.

I want to go to the beach again tomorrow, so I hope I perk up. I've also been wanting to cook a pot of pinto beans with smoked turkey wings, and cornbread. I haven't cooked a good pot of beans for quite a while. I remember a time when I was 19 years old and living with this young man (no one important), that all we had to eat most of the time was beans and potatoes. I was living in Lamont, CA and working in a potatoe shed. We lived with his Mom (who spent all her time in the local bar to get away from all the kids). He had 3 or 4 of his grown brothers and sisters living there too. We were really poor obviously, the potatoes were free, and what little money we made at the potatoe shed we usually drank up. Damn I was stupid when I was young. The worst part was, I was really bright and could have accomplished anything at a young age. Instead I have to waste all those years. BUT, if I can help someone else by sharing those mistakes so that maybe they won't make them, then it will have been worth it.

Well, I am back to work. I am still tired, I guess from the drugs yesterday. I slept good last night, from about 8 p.m. until almost 6:30 this morning. I have to start getting some names together for our fundraising luncheon in August. One thing about working for a nonprofit, you are always looking for money.

Thursday, July 26


I had been looking off and on for quite while for a girl I had went to school with in 7th grade, and this time I found her! Isn't the Internet amazing? Laura and I had been best friend and it was so nice catching up with her.

My biopsy went well. It WAS painful, but they gave me demerol afterwards. I'm just glad it's done and now we can find out if there has been any damage done. From all the tests so far though, things are looking really good. I want to thank all of you who prayed for me and wished me well.

Leroy's lunch is made, breakfast for the girls and Leroy complete. So I can sit down a minute ;-). I guess I am a little nervous about the thing today. Mainly the cat scan thing. They do that to find out where to put the big needle in your liver to suck a piece out. You know this stuff sounds kind of gross. For some reason I feel kind of alone.......I kind of want someone to make a big deal out of it, even though it probably isn't. I gues sometimes I want to be babied too, but you won't hear me admit it out loud. At least not when I need it. I'll wait 'til it's over and then make everyone feel guilty they couldn't read my mind. After all, shouldn't everyone know that this is the time, out of a million times, that I need extra attention. How silly I can be.

Okay, just a quick note, I have to get the girls up and get them ready. All I have here is 2 of my kids, the rest are with other folks as I prepare for this biopsy this morning. I will be dropping these two off at 5:30 a.m.

So.....here I go, wish me luck......
I'm not there anymore

Okay, I was alright with it yesterday, but I am still not showing up! Come on, let's get this together!

Wednesday, July 25


Now this thing can't even find my site at all, it won't even let me post my posts ;-)
Template won't update

I tried to return the favor and add a link to KindlyRat's site, but my template is not updating at all. In addition to that I am working on a page that defines my family so when I say Leroy, or Jake, or George, or Jamila, or Lee Lee, or Destiny, or Joy, or the Asshole, or the other girl, you will know who I am talking about. I did go to Blogger and found out that they are moving files again, so that is what the problem is.

I went ahead and paid $59.99 at Homestead for two years hosting. It allows me to store up to 25 mb of pictures and stuff, and it has 10 bandwidth (what ever that means and I would like to know so please tell me!!!!). It would cost nothing and give me 8 mb of storage, but I already have 5 mb stored there and I know I am going to do a lot more stuff as time goes by. Oh, by the way, you kind find the beginning of my family detail site here. Maybe I can work on it tomorrow. I have the day off because of the biopsy. What I won't do for a day off, huh?
New link.....

I am trying to add a new link to this Blog. Is it working.......nope......tell me if you see (on the right hand side) a link to Family Details.
All is well.....

My great grandmother, Mary Ida Nicholson, used to end all her letters either "God is love and All is well" or "God's in His heaven and All is well". Either one it good. Don't ask me where that came from ;-).

Well, today is the day I have my blood tests for my biopsy tomorrow. FINALLY. I'm not still mad at the people for rescheduling, but it was frustrating at the time. Of course I always get frustrated when things don't go my way ;-). I do feel like that could have handled that situation better. HMO's suck though. I am on hold right now with my son Jake's HMO. He broke his arm in December at school and the school called an ambulance. Well the HMO has a contracted amount that they pay for these things, well the ambulance company put the balance with a collection agency and they have been harrassing me. I told them I would not pay this, because the HMO said I didn't have too, but the continued. I just got off the phone with the HMO and the guy there (great customer service by the way) said he was faxing them all the info over. So now I guess only the HMO procedure's suck ;-).

I want to say "HELLO" to my oldest son Jacob. He is in Jacksonville, FL visiting Brian and Stacy and little Zach. Jake you can put a comment by clicking where it says comment at the end of this line. Oh and we really are saving the clean clothes for you to fold ;-).

Tuesday, July 24

Here we go again..

I had a funny search request that came to my site. They were looking for Jamie's Nude Photo Page. I automatically thought it was one of my dear friends ;-) trying to "find me out". Of course it would have to be about me, not the other 100s of thousands of Jamies in the world. By the way, based on that search request, there was a nude Jamie photo page in California. She even had a tattoo in the same place I do (no, we won't talk about that). I have no naked pictures on the web. As a matter of fact, I have no naked pictures anywhere I can remember. Now when Leroy and I first got the camcorder.................

Monday, July 23

Easy Does It

Leroy and I didn't mention our quarrel when I got home. We do that sometimes if it could cause problems, and it is not relavent enough to persue.

Jake is in Jacksonville now. Lee Lee (age 6) cried at dinner time because she missed him. I made angel hair pasta for dinner, steak strips, and cucumbers with tomatoe/bacon dressing. It sucked. The kids don't like a lot of stuff in their sauce so I made the can stuff plain.

When I first was diagnosed with Hepatitis C, my blood tests looked bad. I went to my old church, Mountain Top. I hadn't been for a while and all the rows were taken up except for the first one (we take a whole row), so we sit up front. At the end Bishop Jones was praying for people and I was trying to slip out, but he stopped me. No one at the church knew about the problem, but Bishop said he knew I was worried about my health. That kind of freaked me out. Then he threw his hands up and told me to hug him around his waist. I did, fast too, still a little freaked out. He put his arms around me and quickly took them away and blew out.....he told me I was healed. I must admit I felt pretty good about that and pretty much went for it. As time past I had my doubts, wanted more and more tests. The disease still showed up, but the tests didn't look bad. Now the new Liver Dr. called me tonight and told me it looks like my body has all but fought it totally off. He says my blood tests I took when I first saw him look perfect. I am still scheduled for the biopsy, but I have a feeling my liver is perfect too. Now I was first diagnosed with Hepatitis when I was 16 years old and was using needles and drugs. Back then they called it Serum Hepatitis. So this disease has been sitting in my body 25 years. I was an extremely heavy drinker as a teenager and in my 20s, I slowed down to about 6-18 beers a day during my 30s and in the past couple of years I would only drink a bottle of wine a day (and maybe a couple of beers), plus a half pint of brandy daily on the weekends. By all rights my liver and this disease should be killing me right about now. But I believe in miracles and this is just one more time God has shown me He is there. Here is another example:

Dec. 5, 1994 I have birth to a child when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant, 22 weeks. She weighed 1 pound 3 ounces, was nine inches long and her skin although dark was transparent. You could see the organs inside her body. She was covered with hair. At one point she got down to 429 grams which is right at 15 ounces, she had multiple seizures and severe brain bleeding and damage. The doctors told me she had less than a 5% chance to live. I developed chicken pox when she was 2 days old and because I had been in the ICU they had to separate her from the other kids and vaccinate all the little sick babies. Since I could not go see her because of my chicken pox, I spent my time calling churches from the phone book and requesting prayer.............I'm talking about my little Lee Lee......she will be in First Grade this year.

So I have no problem believing in miracles. Things we take for bad things do happen but God uses everything for good to those who love Him. We (humans) just can't always see the big picture.

My sermon for the day ;-)

Well, after arranging childcare for my 4 younger children and getting all mentally prepared, they rescheduled the freakin' biopsy for Thursday. I'm am so pissed. Luckily I don't have any important things scheduled for Thursday. They had had problems with the authorization from the insurance.

I had been trying to call Leroy, his phone was off. So when I left here I tried to call him at home, figuring he might have been home because of the rain. No answer. So he finally calls me back when I was leaving the hospital and he had known about the rescheduling for approx. a half hour. Had he called and let me know it would have saved me the trip to the hospital (in the freakin' rain and heavy traffic) for the blood work that didn't happen, plus the lady at the daycare was going to take Destiny home with her and I barely caught her before she left. Yet....I MAKE SURE TO LET HIM KNOW EVERY LITTLE THING, and if my phone was off (which it is now) he would throw a tissy fit because he has to know where I am every minute........................................mmmmmmmmm I think I better leave this alone for a while.

I go tomorrow for my Liver Biopsy. For some reason I didn't think it would be painful. Now I find out it is. That sucks. I really don't like pain. One thing good about it, but reading more info on Hepatitis C, I have found out that the way I got it is not the worst way. Folks who got it through blood transfusions have it worse. Then again, Leroy has tested positive for it too, and he may have gotten it from blood when he had his open heart surgery. Anyway, if you want more info on it just click on the links.

Sunday, July 22

The End Result

Dinner ended up to be Bar B Q Beef, Green beans and carrots cooked in the meat broth, biscuits, and applesauce.

I have to take Jacob to the Airport in the morning, so we have an early bedtime around here. Bed by 8 for the kids, and TV off by 10 for Leroy and I. Up by 5 a.m.

I have to get my blood work for my liver biopsy tomorrow at 3:30 p.m. and have to be AT the hospital by 6 a.m. the next morning. I still haven't worked out the logistics about the kids Tuesday morning. Maybe I can go house to house getting people to let them spend the night. We have a neighborhood where that will probably work. All the neighbors are fairly close, we all know one another and the kids usually go to the same daycare and rec center. So maybe........Destiny next door with her friend Daja (they both go to daycare), George with his friend Cornelious, Jamila and Lee Lee with my friend Lillie and her 6 kids. They stay home, but she won't mind walking them to the park/rec center (2 blocks) I'm sure. So let's see how that works.

Anyway...........good night boys and girls ;-)

Husband's Internet date turns out to be his wife

Thanks to Yard Sale for this link!
I am 51% Freak.

Here is my score:

Need to be unique: 63%
Need to NOT conform: 22%
Willingness to express dissent: 82%
Overall: 51%

Are you a freak?
Time to cook dinner....

We did make it to church this morning and enjoyed it! Jake sat with me, there is a place for teenagers called "The Rock", but he doesn't feel comfortable there. It's kind of a heavy rock and roll, new-age Christian format. Jake is not into rock and roll, he is more into Rap (yuck) and he likes some of the older R & B I like. Afterwards I took him to get his hair cut and while he was doing that the kids and I went to K Mart for some more school clothes. I am glad the kids aren't required to wear uniforms this year. Uniforms are more expensive and they can't really be worn for anything else. I got jeans and overalls and things for them.

I am making a chuck roast for dinner. I haven't decided what I am going to do with it. I don't have any potatoes. I would REALLY like some mashed potatoes and beef gravy. I may call Leroy (he and the 3 middle kids went somewhere) and ask him to pick some up.

Joy called last night. Now one thing I may have not have stressed here is that the boy that Joy is with is a racist. We came across pages of a journal in Joy's abandoned car and it was filled with the "N" word and swastica's, etc. So when Joy called last night (collect of course), she asked to speak to Destiny, so I was holding the phone up to Destiny's ear and I could hear Joy. Joy asked Destiny did she want to speak to Randy (the boyfriend's name). Now if you look here you will notice that my granddaughter Destiny is bi-racial, i.e., half black (so are 3 of my children). This caught me kind of off guard, but pissed me off immediately, so I got on the phone and said "Why would she want to talk to him, so he could call her a nig**r" and I hung up. I really feel this was probably not the best reaction, but I do not want to subject Destiny to that boy. I just want peace and it seems like I am not going to be able to have it when Joy is a part of our lives. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm open to intelligent input.
Sunday Morning

One of the debt collectors for Joy's bounced check spree woke me up this morning. All the letters and phone calls come here.

It is too late for the early service at church, but Destiny (age 3) asked could we go to church so I guess we will hit the 11 a.m. service. That means I better get breakfast done and get the girls ready. I am so glad I did their hair yesterday! If you click on the word comments after this post, you can tell me what you are doing today ;-)! Yes, YOU ;-)

Saturday, July 21

We went to Ft. DeSoto today.....

It was overcast and kept threatening to rain, but we really enjoyed ourselves. My friend Tanya and her son Cornelious went with us. Tanya and I were talking and realized we had been friends 10 years.

Anyway, when the rain looked like it was getting close we packed up and headed home. Ft. DeSoto is in St. Petersburg (that is across Tampa Bay), and we live in East Tampa. When we were crossing the bridge there was a BAD storm and everyone was going about 35 mph and had their flasher's on. You had to sit forward as you were driving to be able to see the lines in the road. It was still raining, even over where we live, when we got here. It has cleared up now. I did the girl's hair when we got here too. What a job that is, but I had stopped by the hair store and bought a new oil/detangler/conditioner and that seemed to work well. I put them in 3 braids a piece and they all look clean and cute.

I am cooking chicken and rice. I used pressed garlic, seasonings, pepper, and frozen season veggies. It smells good as it is cooking. Jake is baking bisquits, and Georgie is finally baking that Lemon Cake, so dinner should be pretty good. What did you have for dinner (you can put this where it says comments, you know)?

Friday, July 20

Happy Anniversay to my Sister Paula and my Brother In Law Brian!!!
Early Bed Time

I will be going to bed early tonight! We were going to go to church, but I am just too tired. It has been a long week, and I need the rest.

My lunch with Margaret was SO lovely. I don't remember when I had so much good quality time with an old friend. Margaret is such a wonderful woman of God, and she really knows her mission. She is starting a half way house for women getting out to jail called "House of Hope". I will put a link to it on here soon.

Well, if I am going to rest, it is time to get started!!!

Thursday evening I was at a VIP Reception hanging out with a fella' who (I hope) will be Tampa's next Mayor. He's a great guy. Today I will be making a presentation on "Volunteerism" at the National Conference on Urban Policy. Then I will be meeting with the Director for Hillsborough House of Hope. Sounds important, huh? NOT! Other than talking with my buddy who may be mayor (I really respect and like him), this is just more stuff that goes with the job. Oh, and the Director of Hillsborough House of Hope has been my friend and mentor for years. I have yet to have told her what happened May 24th, so this is my confession day.

Lastly today, I will be taking the boys (Jake 15 and Georgie 9) to the Doctor for their annual physical. I will also get them TB tests and have them tested for Hepatitis C. The girls were clear on both of these, by the way.

Leroy was mad at me this morning ;-). He put his leg across me and I pushed it down some. It was almost on my belly and I had to go potty and it was pushing it. He put it back up there and I pushed it down harder. Apparently, (but I don't remember this) I must have accidentally hit him in his mouth. So, he got up and was mad. He is so silly.

I want to go to church tonight. Crosstown Community Church. They have this rock band thing (although I am NOT a rock fan) at the beginning of the service. The Pastor seems pretty cool.....comes out and sits on a tall stool and teaches. It's a big church. Their website is not done yet though.

Saturday, I would like to go back to the beach. Jake is leaving for Jacksonville, FL Monday to visit his "Big Brother" Brian. Jake is so blessed to have Brian. He was Jacob's Big Brother from the Big Brother and Big Sister program when Jake was 7 years old. They have continued to be friends all these years. Brian is now a Dr. (he was in college when we met him), he has gotten married and had a beautiful baby. Such a positive role model. Anyway.........Brian and Stacy (his wife) are sending for Jake to spend a week with them. I'm sure he will have fun, but Jake has had a pretty good summer in general and, of course, when he gets back from there, we will be going to Mississippi. I'm pretty proud of Jake. He is pretty responsible........has lots of chores and follows through, although he usually has to be reminded frequently ;-). He doesn't smoke or use drugs, his main problem is a constant precoccupation with girls (and probably sex). He could do lots better in school too. All in all though, I am blessed to have such a helpful son. I am proud of Jacob.

Thursday, July 19

Well Joy called

She is in Bend Oregon. We had a good talk. I feel so sorry for her. She asked me did I miss her. I told her I missed the child I used to have. She cried. I told her I loved her. We hung up.

Wednesday, July 18


Well, we formally have custody of our Granddaughter Destiny now!!! You know unless things are done in court and are legal, you never know what could happen. It has been a long road for us, but now we have legally what we always have really had and that is total responsibilty for Destiny (we call her Teeny).

Thank you Lord!
Little Person

I know, I know...I'm going to work on it.

Leroy and I are going now to the Court house for Destiny's custody case. Pray for us!!!
I am tired!

I don't know why I am so tired. I guess I need to go to sleep earlier, but I go to sleep at 11 p.m. and get up at 6 a.m. I really need to get up earlier, but have been unable to drag myself up. I don't think I will have any problem going to sleep tonight though.

I have been forgetting to take my vitamins, maybe I need to start taking those again. Or maybe, I am just flat getting older........no...there are folks older than me and have more energy.......could it be the Hepatitis C? It could.......but why all of a sudden. Okay....I just need more sleep and maybe Leroy needs to quit taking all my energy ;-)!

Tuesday, July 17


I was reading my last few posts and have you noticed that I talk about food a lot? It's a large part of what I do though...cook for my family. Tonight they are having corn dogs, baked beans and salad.

I'm still at work, it's a busy day again today. Tons of stuff to do and about half way through, I always get tired of doing it. It gets done though.

I am looking foward to our upcoming vacation now. We are going to Gulfport, Mississippi and getting a place on the beach for a few days. We are meeting my sister and her family there. I haven't seen my sister in 25 years. We actually had lost all contact 'til a while back. I finally found out her married last name, and the town she lived in. I did an AOL (when I used to have it) search for everyone in that town and just started sending emails out to everyone there. A guy emailed me back who found people for some mortgage company or something. I gave him her old address and he found her right away. Didn't charge me anything, and from then on we were in touch. My sister Paula reads this blog, so I am going to ask her and see if she knows.........Paula, what day and month was that? I also want to know when she is going to start her own blog, it's free you know...........just click here Blogger ! I warn you though...it is addictive. Anyway.......we will be in Mississippi from the 4th to the 7th. The kids start back to school the 8th or we could have stayed longer. You know neither place we are renting is rented for Friday night. It would be nice if we could leave the 3rd and get that extra day.

Monday, July 16

Busy Work Day

Three meetings in a row and the day was over. FLEW by! I am making Stroganoff Hamburger Helper with 2 packages of Hamburger Helper and three pounds of hamburger. No side dishes or anything. I'm kind of pooped. I feel great though mentally. Have missed quite a bit of church lately, and I really need to get more in touch spiritually.....

Got a call from the other girl's (in Joy's trio) Mama, and she told me that Linda (the other girl's name) had called her from Oregon today. At least that is where she said she was. The caller ID only had Unknown on it. The Asshole's mother is suppose to live there so I would not doubt that. That would just proved that Joy lied to me. The Mama also told me Linda had called her a couple of days ago from San Bernadino county which is south of Bakersfield. That would mean they had already been through Bakersfield going to Sacramento when she called me. To tell you the truth, I think they are ALL liars, including the Mama.
Joy Update

Joy (my 18 year old daughter, pregnant, with nothing ass boy and his other girlfriend) called yesterday from Sacramento, California. She said they were on their way to Bakersfield. I am originally from Bakersfield and two of my sisters are there, but you can bet they will not be putting up with what I know Joy has in mind. The asshole's other girlfriend is pregnant now. So Joy is 4 months pregnant and the other girl in the relationship is 2 months. They hitchhiked to California from Tampa, FL.

I am really at a loss for words at this one.

Sunday, July 15

New Photos

Okay, there are new photos at VIEW PHOTOS HERE !! They seem to be acting kind of weird, but they show up. I'll probably have to work on them later ;-)!!

In the mean time I'm cooking! Chicken, yellow rice, black beans, salad, and Georgie has made Corn Bread. Do you think I should bake a Lemon cake?????
Sunday Morning

Nice morning........I cooked sausage gravy, grits, and bisquits. Then Leroy and I took a ***break***. ;-)

We had thought about going to church but didn't. I guess I need to get to a meeting early today. We thought about going to the beach too. Instead I guess I will go through pictures and put them in the new album I bought. I went to Eckerd's yesterday, but my pictures weren't there yet. We have to take the movies back to BlockBuster's anyway, so we might as well ride by and get the pictures. That means I will put more pictures on the Picture Site later today. I'm lazy ;-)

Saturday, July 14

Doctor Visit

Well the new Liver Doc was pretty good. He ordered a whole bunch of new blood tests and a biopsy. I will have the biopsy next week. Since my brother had colon cancer and I am over 40 he also ordered a test for that.......which sucks, but I guess it has to be done.

We watched movies last night, but Leroy got mad and didn't watch the second one (Castaway). He had put the tape in and we (Jake and I) were trying to play it, he kept saying "all you had to do was push play, I don't know how y'all messed it up", annyway.......I finally figured out it needed to be rewound. So while I was rewinding I said "all I had to do was push play", and he got pissed. He's really quick to talking sharply to someone, but can't take it when he's wrong. It really pissed me off at first, running and pouting pisses me off, but we watched the movie and had fun although I will have to watch the ending again (I fell asleep).

We watched Remember the Titans first. It was a good movie but Jacob had been talking about it so long, my expectations were too high. That always ruins a movie if your expectations are really high. It was very good though. I cried.

Thursday, July 12

Home cooking.......

Meaning...I am cooking at home ;-). I am not in the best mood either. Guess it's a good thing I am going to a meeting tonight.

Anyway...the menu is Round steak, macaroni and cheese, and green beans. Georgie (age 9) is also making a carrott cake. He's a good cook. I am hungry too, and since things are almost ready...I'm going to get the steak off the grill, cut it up, and make plates for all these hundred children I have.

Hope your life is peaceful and you have a good dinner too ;-)!
Unidentified Visitors

It's weird. Lots of people come to this blog everyday, some the same people, some different, but I get very few comments after posts or people putting their mark on the world map (which is extremely cool, by the way), or folks signing the guest book. I wonder why that is............
Meeting, Appointments, Things to fix

Today will be a busy day. I have a presentation to do for a welfare-to-work class, a Doctor's appointment, my cell phone has to go the shop, and then I have a meeting to attend. That shoots my day from 8 to 5.

And I just realized, I forgot to lay out meat for dinner...........

Wednesday, July 11

Joy update

Well Joy called collect last night at 11 p.m. We were asleep, but I answered the phone. I told the stupid recording that I would accept charges but it hung up on me. She didn't call back. This morning I checked the caller ID on the phone and the call came from area code "706". I called the operator and asked where that area was located and she told me Augusta, Georgia. So, I guess that means they have left town. That kind of leaves me feeling weird. We go to court next week for Temporary Custody of our granddaughter Destiny who lives with us, and I didn't want Joy to interfer with that, but here she is dumb as dirt, pregnant again, with an abusive young man who is in a relationship with another girl that is with them. Now she is out of state. Is this stuff weird or what?

The custody case does come up next week, and as long as the guy who is supposed to be Destiny's biological Dad doesn't show up we should be in good shape (he got Joy pregnant at 14 years old). He's never shown up before though for any of the child support cases or did not reply when he was served in this case, but we have this one hurdle to get over for this.

I go to my liver Dr. tomorrow. It will be good to know what is going on with that. Later I think I will tell everyone who reads this blog about all my children. There is more than meets the eye and I feel like talking about it.

Tuesday, July 10

What a day...

Work sucks sometimes. I went to a meeting this morning with our local Public Housing Authority. We have a contract with them to do job readiness training and job placement for their residents. It's not always easy, but we do the best we can. Today...there were two "resident council leaders" there, and they were more negative about their fellow residents than we are. You see..it is not a black or a white issue. People have the culture of poverty, and that culture is hard to break through. People have to WANT to make changes in their lives, and that means coming out of their comfort zones. Not only change the way they live their lives, but their mentality as well. How they react, dress, talk, etc.

I came out of the "Projects". I know it is a rough transformation, but I desperately wanted a better life for my children. I have achieved a certain level of success. We have our little house (through Habitat for Humanity), we work and make decent money (for living in the South), our needs and most of our wants are met, but it has taken a lot of learning and changing and just plain hard work. I think people are afraid to attempt to change, because they don't know if they can. They say they don't want to, but I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting to better themselves.

Anyway...it gets depressing sometimes, but if we can help some folks...we are doing okay. Ah well.......

Monday, July 9

Back to work

It's actually a blessing to be back in my office after that class of young men last week. They almost drove me crazy, or should I say crazier. I don't know how high school teachers do it. These men were from 20 to 35 and they were a pain in the butt. Lots of potential though. The ones who gave me the hardest time were to smartest ones. Odd, isn't it?

Sunday, July 8

And the day turned out lovely....

We went to Outback Steakhouse and had a great meal!!! I'm really tired now and kind of burned from the beach.

We went by Joy's car where it is broke down. I saw some papers tore up in a bag on the floor board and picked it up. It is kind of a journal that they kept. It confirms what I thought about their 3-way relationship, but the girls are not together. It confirms the mental abuse, he uses to keep them in check, and if all else fails he crys. That makes the girls feel like they are the "bad" ones. The physical abuse is confirmed there too, and the racism. Maybe I was wrong for taking the stuff out of the abadoned car and reading it, but I'm just nosey like that....and so what. I am not a "cool" mom, I am a nosey, in your business, mom. Maybe if I had have been practicing more of that when Joy was younger, all this would not have happened. Oh well.......have to let it run it's course now.

Here in the real world, we are going to eat our cake top from our wedding ;-)
Okay he's out of the shower...

and I am not quite so pissed. I got the tell our neighbor that Leroy would not be coming out to help him fix his lawn mower. That made me fell better. Leroy helps EVERYBODY. It was one of the things I loved about him, now it gets on my nerves. People "expect' him to help them. So he spends all his extra time working on some car, or lawn mower, or bike, and stuff around here doesn't get done in a timely manner, nor does he have any free time.

I have a slight head ache, better take something......
First Anniversary

I took the kids to the beach today. I asked Leroy to start getting ready early because I didn't want to be out late tonight. I made it a point to let him know that I didn't want to have to go through the shit about how I am rushing him, but yet he is sitting in there on the bed talking on the telephone. Filthy dirty.

Is is freakin' asking too much that on our Anniversary he make a small freakin' attempt to start a little early. He was outside still working on shit that should have been done while we were gone, I asked him when he was going to take a shower. He says" I don't want to go out early with you, I wanted to go when it starts getting dark". Well, it starts getting dark at 9 freakin' p.m. and I plan on being home in bed by that time. IF, we get to the resteraunt by 5 or even 6, it will still be a 2 hour deal, and we both have to get up early. Me earlier than him because I have to get HIS shit ready, make HIS breakfast and lunch and coffee.

Can you tell I have PMS?

Saturday, July 7

Dinner Menu

Okay....we had burritos. I make good burritos. Lots of ground beef with fresh garlic, then a can of refried beans mixed in. I heat the tortillas in a nonstick skillet with a little Pam. Add either Salsa or canned green chili sauce on top of the meat mixture and Mexican grated cheese, then sour cream and green salad mix. The kids don't like onions, so that didn't get added. I like to throw everything in myself ;-). Well, I guess I'll go take a bath......
Guess what tomorrow is...

Could it be Leroy and my 1st Anniversary? Yes it could! Do I have a clue what we are going to do? No, I don't! Will I be mad if he doesn't plan something? No I won't. Do we have money to spare for anything special? No we don't. Have I gotten him anything? No I haven't. Has he gotten me anything? I know he hasn't. Is all that okay? Absolutely.

We are saving for our vacation and money is a little tight, but that's okay...because it's not about all that...it's about celebrating our union. Which is a very good thing. Now.....when we are married ten years....like my little sister will be the 20th of this month...then we will do it up!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PAULA AND BRIAN!!!
Good Morning.

I have read this comment on other people's blogs, and it is true...it is amazing how caught up in other people's lives we get based on the entries in their online journals. But do we qualify to say things that could possibly cause whatever problems they are having to get possibly get worse by our comments.

We form opinions, and possibly those opinions may be right on the money, but sometimes things are better left unsaid. I know one thing......I have got too much junk to work on in my own life to spend time trying to tell folks how to run theirs.

By the way....this strange post has nothing to do with any thing anyone said about my journal, it refers to a friend of mine and a comment placed there that caused some strife. I will say this though...one time someone signed my guestbook and said I sounded immature ;-), I changed the post and made it say that that person was immature ;-)...now tell me is that immature ;-)? LOLOLOL

Friday, July 6

Final Meal Requests

Yes, I am a sick puppy....
Joy Update

I went to a meeting last night and as always I turned my cell phone off. I always call Leroy immediately afterwards because he is such a jealous nut, anyway........he said a woman from a McDonald's had called and that Joy was there crying wanting us to come pick her up. Now if you will remember, Leroy just tried to do that Saturday and she wasn't there when he got there...So I debated on going by there and decided that it probably was NOT a good idea. Remember...last time I tried to help I ended up in jail.

So, I go home, shower and settle in to watch a little bit of my favorite Court TV before nodding out. Joy calls, hysterical, come get me or call the police. So I did....call the police that is. Gave them the number she called from, and settled in to relax. So then Leroy and Jacob decide to ride over where she said she was and see what was happening. I call Leroy on his cell, he can't find them, him and Jake are cruising the area, Joy calls screaming again, I tell Leroy, he doesn't see them, Joy calls again saying, "I'm coming home Momma". Home? Isn't that the place I helped her get and furnish that she allowed to be destroyed by her asshole boyfriend and his other girlfriend? Isn't that also the place she was evicted from? She then says she has no idea where the boyfriend and the other girl are now. OOOOOOOKKKKKKKAAAAYYYY....within 30 seconds I hear her telling the asshole boyfriend not to cry..."CRY"???? It's freakin' after midnight, I have to be up at 6 a.m. to go to work. My husband is out trying to make sure that nut is not hurting her regardless of the damage she has done to our family before. Police have been called and she sent them away. They are walking the street homeless. She is pregnant, but can't raise the child she has now. And she is worried about the asshole crying??????? I hung up.

I have been very tired today, and a little grouchy. Have tossed out my idea to quite smoking right now, there will be time for that later. The kids want to go to church and Jake wants to go to the movies, and I want to go to bed. Leroy has been working all day in the yard as usual. He cut down a tree so we can have another drive way on the other side of the yard. It's needed. Now he is changing the shape of the flower bed in the front of the house. He is a workaholic ;-)!

MSN has been down forever and I kinda miss talking to my friend Dan. We never talk about anything much, computers, templates, web design, stuff like that.....but I enjoy it. I'm curious now about something I read on one of the links to blogs that he has on his site, and I can't ask him because MSN is out....Oh well......

Do I want to go to the drive in movie, church, or bed?

Thursday, July 5

Happy Birthday Jacob David!

Well today is Jacob's birthday. He is 15. We got him two nice outfits and he just left to go to the Rec Center and show one of them off. He's a good kid. I am blessed.

Tomorrow will be the last day of the job readines and life skills class I teach for noncustodial parents. It is called Steppin' Stones. This class of young men is really keeping me on my toes, and I am exhausted!

Jeeezzz what day is this!?!?

If I did not have to teach this class this week, I would not be up right now. This feels like a Monday, but yesterday didn't feel like a weekend. So that means I got my Monday feeling without getting to have my weekend feeling.

Do you think I am getting resentful because no one else has to get up but me? And I would be waking up soon even if I didn't have to work.

Ah well............still have to make my coffee

Wednesday, July 4

Good night....

I didn't realize it was so late (for me anyway). Everyone else can sleep in tomorrow, but I have to go to work and early too!!!

BTW, we did go to the store and got some ice cream. PET ice cream was on sale 2 for 1, so I got Leroy some vanilla and I got some nutty buddy. I got the kids some waffle cones and Leroy and I some chocolate syrup.

I'm listening to Blind Lemon Jefferson - Shuckin' Sugar Blues. I forgot just how much I really love that old blues. To tell the truth I also like old country singers like Hank Williams, etc. I am just not with any new music....hardly anything in the last 20 years, and I prefer music from before I was born. Now they are playing, Muddy Waters - Train fare blues.

I must remember to thank my Buddy in California for getting me started tonight jammin' to the blues!!!!
I'm not really a big music person, but being bored at the end of the day....I surfed around and found this....THE RADIO CAVE - Blues and Jazz Webcasts! I like it........
Now if you want to try some real music try MORE JAZZ & EGGS, I got this from my Cowgirl friend in San Diego...you can find her site on my list of daily reads!

Another good one from Red Dwark!
Our Day....

We have had a wonderfully peaceful day.....I grilled hamburgers (our favorite), smoked sausage, and pork steak (only I eat pork), and we had potatoe salad, chips and dip, and baked beans. Leroy spent his time ==while I was cooking== fixing things around the house, and then we watched a movie on HBO after we ate. A good day so far, even though there is thunder and lightening that is threatening to postpone our fire works this evening.

Joy called and sked me yesterday for money to get "medicine" for a bladder infection she says she was diagnosed with last Monday (yeah right). Then this morning she called and said they had to get out of the motel where that asshole has had her and the other girl. I suggested she go to Metropolitan Ministries ( a homeless shelter and program). They really do have a good program there.

She has been acting so lovely dovey.........such a freakin' obvious plan to attempt to get cash or whatever else.

Ah well.......Hope your day is going or went well too ;-)

My "quit smoking" patch seems to be working fair....I smoked half a cigarette today, but it made me sick, so I may not try that again for a while. I really could use something sweet though. I wish we had a ice cream shop near here. I may ride down to the grocery store and pick up some of that new kind everyone is talking about (if I remember the name I'll put it on here later).

Well, I think I will go read what other people are doing today.....

I want to go to the beach again this weekend. I'm trying to get plenty sun before our vacation to Mississippi---August 3rd!
The Ageless Project

I asked the folks at the ageless project if they would mind changing my screen print of my site since I changed my design and they did.....I can't get over how good it looks ;-). Now remember....the website design itself came from Point of Focus , with my buddy Daniel fixing the title for me, and a day's work tweeking....&.....it's still not done ;-)

We still haven't gotten our fire works, so I thought I'd hit Target early this morning while everyone else is still asleep.

You know I heard something yesterday that made since, although it does put a kind of a damper on the day.........not all Americans were free on July 4th, which we widely celebrate as a day of Independance. Usually I don't like any thing that separates us as Americans, but ****you know what***** he was right.

I don't think I will mention it to my family though..........we just want to have fun on Holidays.........most of my children are small but even Jake (14), just wants to have fireworks ;-)! BTW, Jacob's birthday is tomorrow, my oldest son.....he will be 15 years old.

Tuesday, July 3

Day One of my Great Quit Smoking Project

I figure if you're gonna stop your bad habits, why not get a few knocked out at once ;-). And so goes my compulsive personality. I have purchased the patch and am wearing it. They say these patches are an eight week program, but there ain't no way I am going to spend this kind of money for eight weeks. It is three stages, so I will give it three weeks. I quit successfully before for over a year before, I just have to start thinking like a nonsmoker. The urges pass too, after a few seconds to a couple of minutes, and I have to pray a lot. Eat Altoids.....

Monday, July 2

I enjoy this....... BOSHO! the monkey-mind ...
Great Day.....

I know the whole world is just waiting for me to post what I am going to make for dinner. Can't wait can ya'???? Okaaaaaaayyyyy, I'll tell you.....tonight we will be having meat loaf, tater tots, corn, and a salad. Watermelon will be for desert. Happy now? ;-)

I had a good day. The young men in the latest Pulling for Progress class for noncustidial parents are alright. There are a couple who are exceptionally bright. That is good, but doesn't match well for my class. It's a life skills and job readiness training, and when you get folks that are really bright, they don't think I can teach them anything. I'm a witness that you can always learn. I learn from them sometimes. It is really a great program. It allows men and women (who are obligated to pay child support) to get skills as a cable technicians and have the ability to earn a wage that will allow them to support their children and still be able to live. My section of this class only lasts a week, the first week. It is my job to prepare them mentally for the class and the job. After my class, the technical training only takes 5 weeks, and one week of OJT, they take the Bisci exam (that is a cable tech certification) and are placed in positions. The rules in the class are strict. You have to be on time, have your shirt tucked in, hats off, be respectful, etc. Some make it, some don't, but they can never say they were not given the opportunity.

Well I think I will post this and then go stare at my new design which I just love ;-)!!!
Another Monday!

I will be teaching at Hillsborough Community College this week. My life skills class for noncustodial parents. It doesn't leave me much time to blog, which is (of course) my favorite thing to do. I am just about satisfied with this Blog now, but I still have the A.A. site to work on, and the picture site has been improved on some. I do want to add more pictures.

It's almost time to get the girls up, which means it is almost six. As usual, Leroy's lunch and breakfast are made and I am drinking my coffee.

After church yesterday, the girls and I went to the beach. Just a close beach, not as nice as Ft. DeSoto, but we had fun. Bought Checker's burgers and hot dogs (49 cents a piece on Sunday) on the way over, played ring around the rosie, Mother may I, and horse shoes. Got Sun, I got some reading done. Now I'm red and the girls are just darker ;-)

Hope you, whoever you are, are having a great day!

Sunday, July 1

Sunday morning

I have to hurry this entry. I spent my bloggin' time adding a button to the site of the wonderful lady who did this design. She has lots more free, and at a small cost if you have a commercial site. And again, I can't thank Daniel (Blogger Boy) enough for taking so very much time to help me yesterday.

I have to start getting the kids ready to go to church. I want to go to the 9:30 service (did I mention that before), so I have to get them getting ready and do something about breakfast. Maybe scrambled egg sandwiches? I know they want grits though. Shoot! I bet people wonder if all I talk about on this blog is food ;-). To tell you the truth, I spend a LOT of time planning (yeah right) what I am going to feed this Army, cooking, serving, and hollering at Jacob to do the dishes ;-).

I told someone yesterday that I am a GREAT cook, but I can't make a good cup of coffee. Well this morning, the coffee is pretty good. Yesterday, I had the first big cup. Added the water back, and when Leroy got some coffee it was drinkable.

I wonder if I should add something on the sidebar about who people are....in case someone new is visiting.........here's a quick run down on my family........Leroy (my husband) you can see him over there to the right, Jacob (our *almost* 15 year old), George (age 9), Jamila (age 8), Leighanne (*Lee Lee*, age 6), Destiny (our granddaughter, by Joy, age 3, lives with us), and Joy (18, lives elsewhere, in the process of ruining her life), Leroy Jr. (27, Leroy's son by first marraige, lives else where, 6 grandkids from him), Markeda (almost 18, Leroy's daughter from first marraige). That is our immediate family....5 kids at home...You can see pictures of most of them on our picture page. Which reminds me I need to add pictures of Markeda and Leroy Jr.

Okay, I've talked (typed) too long........off to the kitchen Cinderella!