Saturday, June 30

Evening time

It has been a full and satisfying day. With my buddy's never wavering help, we got this template working. I managed to get groceries and cook a good dinner. Leroy and I had steak and fries, I cooked the kids burgers and fries, then we had peach cobbler with whip cream for desert.

Joy called hysterically at one point and I didn't jump and run. Leroy went but she had left where she called from. That's probably a good thing.

I am going to go take a nice, hot, Calgone bath and lay down to rest. If Leroy comes to bed early enough, he may have a surprise!
My Saturday

I really wanted to go to the beach today, but Leroy didn't want to go, and I didn't feel like loading the whole crew up myself. I think we will go to the early service at the new church, Crosstown Community Church, and have everything loaded and go afterwards!

Joy called and wanted to know if we wanted to buy her car for $100. She said they can't get it started. Leroy is looking at it. I wanted to buy it, but only if we could make money. He thinks it is locked up and so we won't get it. I'm glad. Saves us the hassle of trying to fix it and sell it, and with messin' with Joy. I am relieved we aren't getting it!
Thanks to my buddy Daniel!

Who guided me step by step on changing my blog's template. Now I am brain fried!

Friday, June 29

Finally made it home.....

We are going to church tonight even though there is a heavy rainstorm ;-). It will be a new visit for us. I was there last night for a meeting and really liked the feel of the place, so I thought we would visit. I will look and see if they have a website.

I have decided to do a separate page for my A.A. related stuff and leave this blog to daily happenings, links, etc. :-)
More pictures......

I'm adding more pictures to VIEW PICTURES HERE . It takes a while to load on 56k, I haven't opened on my Road Runner at home yet so I don't know how long it takes on that.

This is the site of Kyle the hero!
I have met wonderful people since I started blogging. I appreciate each of you.
I have a new hero!

His name is Kyle Davis and he took his own time yesterday to go over my code (I emailed him all of it), find a bad tag, clean up my "amp's" (some of you will know what I am talking about), and then mailed the whole thing back to me and said "here ya go, try this". So I want to take this time to say:


Thursday, June 28

Well I am waiting to hear......

If the corrects Kyle worked on has made my site IE 6 friendly!! Someone PLEASE tell me!!!
Joy update:

Got a call at 11:30 p.m. from the Sheriff's Office asking me was Joy's car stolen. I told him, I didn't know. He said it was parked in an industrial area with the ignition broken. I told him I knew the ignition was broken and had been (her asshole boyfriend did it). I also told him it didn't have insurance on it. Anyway.......I don't know what happened after that.

Joy did call the other night. I had her ID to try to deter her from cashing more hot checks, but I can't be responsible for her so I sent Jake to meet her at a convenience store to give it to her.

Soooooooo...........who knows at this point.
IE 6 Crashes

My site is a KILLER! It kills IE 6. Usually as soon as you get here, you are crashed! Thanks to Kyle, who is looking into for me!
Leroy's medicine

Leroy has had open heart surgery. He takes medicine for his high blood pressure and for severe allergies. His pills have been ready at the Walgreens since Monday, but he has yet to go pick them up. Now....I just went in to wake him up and his arms were numb. I told him he must not care about himself to leave his medicine for days like that. He says, "Sometimes I don't". That is EXACTLY the way I was thinking when I was drinking. Pity me everyone!!! I am so messed up, feel sorry for me!!! I needed to get a grip, and so does Leroy. When I first went to the Nut Dr. (before I started going to meetings), I thought I would get sympathy and antidepressant pills. What I got was some firm advice. I thought she reminded me of the lady in the TV Show "Weakest Link", but it worked.

I guess I will have to go get his pills after work today and give him a little "medicine" tonight to make him feel better. I truly love my husband, but he (and most men) can be such a baby sometimes.

Not me, of course, I'm perfect......dum da dum dum, dah dah dah dah dah. **humming***

Wednesday, June 27

Home Owner's Association

Well, I went to the meeting. I made sure this time that Robert's Rules of Order were followed. I have been around Board's and Committees long enough to know how that is handled and if we are going to do this it needs to be done right. We will have to get rid of our chickens though.

There is a girl at the end of the street whose yard stinks so much you can smell it five houses down and she was give 14 days to clean it up. That included getting rid of her chickens because our Declarations state that we can't have poultry. We keep our stuff clean, but we cannot be an exception, so Rusty, Blackie, and Harry have to go. Flower died the day after we got her.

Most people appreciated my help with the order of the meeting. A couple of folks didn't ;-)

I know one gave me a power rush after all my AA stuff about being powerless. Great for my ego too, and I needed a little stroking.

I feel pretty good.............but will be sorry to see the chickens go.........
Child Support.....

I was under the illusion that when Leroy's daughter (by his first marraige) turned 18 on July 13th, that we would no longer have to pay almost $100 a week child support. With the date coming up and our finances going down, I got his divorce papers out to review. The fact of the matter is.....she is still in high school and we have to continue to pay until she graduates. So I guess her Moma has the car note on her new car for another year.
Notice anything different?

I got rid of my blogger banner on top!!! Now I have more flexibility on my site design and I am SO happy about that!!

I have so much to write. I have stuff to put down about yesterday and I don't have time.......but I's more Joy news and Meeting news. The Drama and the Gratefulness never cease......I have just got to get them to wait........I'll just pray for them to balance.......remember "my life is **unmanagable**" so that means I have to trust the Lord to manage it.

Tuesday, June 26

Sometimes Blogger works, sometimes it doesn't.......
This site, I got from Red Dwarf's page, allows you to track your money and see where it goes or where it has try your luck at Where's George?
Step One: Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that are lives have become unmanageable.

Admitting that I am powerless over anything has always been a problem for me. I am a control freak from the word go. Am I powerless over alcohol????? Can I drink like a "normal person? Can I drink without it being a problem? Once I get started can I stop? The truth of the matter is I can drink like a "normal" person for a while. A short while. Then I start needing more to get a buzz (that goes on for a while) and then I don't want to stop once I start. At this point I don't know if I "could" because I don't "want" to. So at this point does alcohol have control, am I powerless over it? Yes, I am.

Next point.....Admit that my life has become unmanageable. Was it ever manageable? Is anyone in total control over their life? We can be to a certain extent, but life kind of controls itself in certain respects. We cannot control everything that happens to us. We can attempt to manage with what we have to manage with. At the point where I was drinking was my life unmanageable? Well I ended up in freaking jail based on a decision I made while under the influence of alcohol, so I would damn well say it was pretty freaking unmanageable. I cannot take sole responsibility for what happened, but I may not have made the choices I did that night had it not been for my being under the influence. So whose fault was it? Mine---I was obviously out of control--*OUCH* that hurts!

I truly believe that without the help of God, my life is unmanageable. Now, I have to read in the Big Book, the chapter to the Agnostics and look for sections able an unmanageable life, and powerlessness.

Am I in control now..........................H*LL no!! God is ;-)!
How do you like my counter thing on the huh!

I need more coffee........time to get the girls up ;-)
I really have a hard time getting up in the morning.....

I need more than 6.5 hours sleep. I HAVE to turn the TV off at 10 p.m. from now on. I layed there last night watching Court TV. It was "Mugshots". I would watch and read on commercials. I am reading "Seasons of a Woman's Life" by Lori Evans. I am also reading the "Big Book"
The Big Book. is getting harder and harder for me to get up. Coffee's good though!

Monday, June 25

Is this a mirror?
Okay, so I'm turning into an Alcoholics Anonymous junkie! I have been worse things!!!
It's amazing how good I feel.

You know I had felt bad for so long, I didn't even know I felt bad. I know people judge folks that are in 12 step programs especially AA, but folks can judge me all they want to as long as I continue to get what I need from the progam and feel this great!!!
Good Mornin'

Leroy's lunch and breakfast has been taken care of. Boys are up. Cup of coffee finished. Time to get the girls up. I got their hair done yesterday afternoon, thank God!

I will be glad when summer school is over for Jake, then I can let them sleep some, have Jake take them to the Rec Center a little later, and I can get to work earlier.

Sunday, June 24

I am SO full!!

I had two BIG hamburgers!! I am stuffed.

I made some changes to the Photo page. I changed the background and got rid of the banner. I will put one in when I find one I like that I can edit or maybe someone will feel sorry for me and make me one ;-). I am going to go smoke a cigarette and then get the girls in the shower and do their hair, then take me a nice bath and to a meeting. I need to get to bed early to be prepared for work tomorrow.

I have plans to smoke the rest of this carton of cigarettes and get the patch and attempt to quit smoking, then I can start doing some kind of excersise. I wonder if there is a gym where you can "pay as you go"?
More Chickens!

We went to get some hay for Rusty our chicken to have a nesting type of place. At the feed store they had biddies, so we got there more. One is black (named Blackie) and is what they call a "Black Giant" chicken---they say he will get up to 18 pounds, then we have a multicolored one named Flower, and one with what Jamila (age 9) calls an afro (it's a white afro) and she called him Harry.

We can't get another Rabbit because if we get a female you know what will happen and they say same sex rabbits fight. We could have Leroy (named after my husband) the rabbit fixed but I can't see spending that kind of money.

Leroy needs to build a cage for the Moesha (Moe the iguana) now. She has been in a big aquarium for quite a while and it is hard for her to get around in there now. She is really getting big!

So by latest count---we have five children, 4 chickens, 1 rabbit, and 1 iguana.

Woke up too late to get everyone ready to go to church. Was up watching TV late. Made oatmeal and toast for Brunch when I finally got up. It's rainy here.

Leroy finally fixed my desk where the keyboard drawer comes out again. It makes a HUGE difference. I think I will bake a cake today. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting, and I will grill burgers. My friend Daniel got me to thinking about them yesterday. That and I guess chips and pork and beans.

I'll catch the 8:15 meeting at "The Club". There are places closer, but I like it over there. I enjoy the meetings period!

Joy just called. I had her Driver's Liscense and she wanted it. I took it in an effort to keep her from bouncing more checks, but I know I can't keep it, so I sent Jake to the Circle K (convenience store) and told her to meet him there to get it. Oh well!

Saturday, June 23

Just got home from a meeting.

There was a 17 year old boy there. He said he was on house arrest and was bored and was having feeling like he want to go use. He was smoking and drinking coffee, and had a baby face. I truly felt for him. No way in the world would I want to be that age again and go through the shit I had to go through. I hope he makes it, but he would have to really want to make that change for it to work. He claimed alcoholism, but I wonder if he really knows the meaning or if has totally admitted that he is too weak to control it. Thing like that are hard to admit for grown people who have been through the worst.

I thought of my own children and my mother. My mother died in her drug addiction (pills). I grew up with alcholism and drug addiction, and they say it is hereditary. I can not use that as an excuse for what I did in my life though, all I can do is make a different life for my children. All I can do is pray and thank God I don't have to live a life of insanity and strife. I have to option to choose a life where I deal with things on their own terms, and I don't have to medicate myself to be able to handle what life deals out. I am blessed.
What's for dinner:

Stew Beef over white rice, salad, cornbread! In the mean time I want another soda ;-)
One room done!

And it was a mess. HUGELY dusty! Yes, it was my room. The I made lunch. I made ham sandwiches, tortilla chips, and I had a Diet Coke. I prefer Diet Pepsi, but Diet Coke was on sale at the store. I am taking a short break and then we will tackle Jacob's room.

By the way I added a couple of new pictures under "VIEW PICTURES HERE". I am going to be adding more as I get time.

Please don't forget to mark your spot on the World Map over there, and if you have time sign the guest book. Please keep in mind that I will turn any negativity around (smile). You will notice that on the latest post where a gentleman choose to be negative, but would not let me know how to repay the remark by leaving his site or email. I kind of rearranged the words a little ;-). I don't mind critisimn as long as it is construtive. I can use all the advice I can get ;-).

Have a GREAT DAY!!!
Okay oen room down.

We got my room done, then I made lunch.
It's going to be a clean up day!

I am going to get dressed, wake up Jake, and have the kids eat cereal while I go grocery shopping. They should be done with dishes etc, by the time I get back. Then we are going to get together as a team and clean one room in this house at time!! By 2pm EST this place should be spotless ;-)!

Friday, June 22

I got this from Yard Sale's blog. Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up
I went surfing......

You really know you are getting old when you see web sites by young people (kids), and you know that if they were your children you would be mortified. Can I remember being like that, even as bad as my 18 year old, Joy.? Of course I can, and you know what else. I screwed shit up, almost totally ruined my life. Some would say I did totally ruin my life, but I have at least bounced back some.

I like growing old. I like being married. I love our little home, and even our bad butt kids. I enjoy my job, most of the time. I am optimistic about the changes I am making in my life. I am ready to accept life on life's terms, and deal with the ups and the downs as they come.

Joy update: Can you believe she called? Acted like nothing had happened. I acted with no emotion. I called the payphone back she had called from and it was in Brandon, a suburb about 3 miles from here. I don't want to talk to Joy. I wish she had gone to Ft. Meyers like I had heard she was going to.

I guess I have to feed these people sometime tonight ;-)
My opinion on the woman in Texas who killed her five children.

I try, and I repeat try, not to judge people. God has that job and I am glad it is not mine! I will say this though.........I have five children at home right now, and there are times I could do damage if I allowed myself to get that far gone, but if I ever get to the point where I felt I could actually do that damage, I would leave and leave them right there. Leroy would have to raise them.

In the recent past, I have gone through some pretty bad depression brought on by recent severe problems in my life and heightened by my drinking before my recent beginnings in my 12 step program. Still, even at my worst, killing my children just has not been an option. And she did it.........One at a time 'til they were ALL dead! That, my friends, is more than depression. It is SATAN.
Almost time to go home!!!

Think I will leave a couple of minutes early today. Have really not accomplished much anyway. Got a visit from my old friend Eddie Lee. I knew Eddie from "back in the day". He is a counselor at a half way house now. I told him what had happened to me and he could relate.

Leroy seems like he has been trying to pick a fight lately. He may be feeling left out because I am now involved in the program and am really happy about it. I will have to make sure to take him to the open meetings when I find them, and it may help him understand if he got involved in a program for "the family of".

I don't really have any plans for tonight, although I know I have to stay home tomorrow and clean the house. Maybe if we get finished soon enough we can still make it to one of the closer beaches. I really wish we had a pool!!!
It's Friday!!!

I went to a great meeting last night. I laughed the whole hour. It's funny.......I heard a guy say yesterday that AA was the only place you can go and listen to horrific and gut wrenching tales and laught the whole time. Reason being.........we're just so glad not to being going through that any more.

My drinking was nothing this last time like it had been when I was younger, but when you lose your ability to manage, it's time to take a step to fix it. I, personally, can use any set of excuses to go to excess. But then I have a compulsive personality. I do everything to excess ;-)

It's a beautiful morning.........and I choose to be happy!

Thursday, June 21

I have got it going on now........

If you email me, what ever you put in the subject line I will get on my cell phone!! Yes, I do think I've got it going on like that ;-)
Good Morning!

I have a new thing on my blog. Over to the left you will find a thing called guestmap, looks like questmap. Click on that and it will let you pin point where you are in the world. Cool huh? Saw it on a couple of other blogs. I hope over the next year or so I can get a lot of little dots on my map ;-)! Don't forget to pinpoint where you are!!!!!

Wednesday, June 20

It's "hump" day......

I really hate that term, but what the heck else could I put for a heading ;-) I got a call from the Mother of the "other" girl that is involved in this weird relationship Joy is in. It's a two girl, one asshole relationship. Don't ask me what goes on, I have no clue. I have also spoken to the landlord. The landlord said they were officially evicted and he had taken the rest of the stuff out of the house and put it on the curb. He said the apt. was totally trashed, dog poop everywhere, carpet ruined, etc. The girl's Mom said that they had been by her house and that they were going to try to get what's left of Joy's car fixed and go to Ft. Meyers. I don't know what is in Ft. Meyers, but the whole thing is a freakin' mess.

I have spoken with the child protective service and they say I should call the abuse hotline and say that Joy has abandoned Destiny. I don't know how that will work, after all I have had Destiny from the very beginning. My only fear is that she will try to take Destiny some where and that boy she is with is a racist, I believe he has even gotten Joy acting like that. Can you imagine that? And Destiny is black. Well if you can get any weirder than this, I can't imagine it. In the mean time we will go on with our, cleaning, working, and raising kids.

Now, I've got to figure out what's for dinner tonight. I didn't lay any meat out so it may be a veggie dinner ;-)!

Tuesday, June 19

I always have to push the publish button twice when I am at home to get this thing to work ;-)
One thing I have learned today........

All 12 Step meetings are not the same. Someone suggested today that I might start going to some additional meetings other than my noon meeting, so I tried a place after work. It was good in that it was a meeting, but it was not for me.

Rain is pouring, Praise God! We really need it here in the sunny South.

Latest about Joy.......her landlord called. She will be evicted at 9 a.m. He said that he knew that I really wanted the oak table and chairs back that I had let her use and he told Leroy that at 9 a.m. everything was going out on the street. There are other things I really would like to have back as well, but I just can't do it. I have to leave that TOTALLY alone. I have not a clue what their plans are over there, but I have to stick to what is best for me and my family who needs me. I will pray for them, but I still have major resentments about that boy and about Joy. This is something I have to deal with within myself, and I can't do it if I let the madness continue.
More interesting stuff from Red Dwarf. This is a spot for MP3------Holy Zoo
I try to send you links and they get lost.

Let me try again...........
Day 14 in my never ending quest towards sanity........

Finally woke up! Found out that I can add a file to my work website and host pictures there considering 85% of the hits that site gets comes from this blog ;-). It can be found at CDC of Tampa, Inc. That is where I work. If you go under Economic Development and then Career Resource Center it will show you the program I manage.

I may need coffee when I wake up, I'm just not a coffee person usually. Maybe my inability to rise easily is another sign of my aging.......

Well, now is the time to order supplies from Quill . Will do billing reports this afternoon after my "meeting"! Hope you are having a great day.
I'm tired of getting up!

I want to sleep, then on the weekends I get up this early anyway. Well here goes the morning.........Leroy has had his breakfast, his lunch is made and he's off to work. Jake is up and fed (he does that hisself), and he will be leaving for summer school soon, Georgie up next, shower, teeth, dress, Girls------teeth, face, I pick clothes, dress Destiny, do all three heads of hair, then me.......

Fight about cleaning rooms, fight with each other, someone crys, someone screams, someone tells on someone else............Think I will drink a Diet Pepsi ;-)

Monday, June 18

Good night Irene ;-)
Okay it's finally evening time ;-)

Girls (8, 6 and 3) have taken a bath. Georgie (9) is getting in now. Jacob (14) is finishing up folding the laundry. I have made a pot roast with potatoes, onions and carrots. I was going to make corn bread (I like Jiffy Mix), but there was only one box and for our family we need, again, I am making biscuits and probably a salad. Mixed fruit for dessert. Georgie made Jello tonight that we will have tomorrow. I've never seen a child who liked to cook and/or eat as much as George!

Update on Joy (18 and screwing her life up!).............letters and phone calls keep coming about all the checks she has bounced. I estimate about $500 so far. I give them her address, which won't be her address long because she is getting evicted, and send the mail back with her address on it. I worry, but I can't trip too much on it. I have these five here to worry about.

Things are going a lot smoother since I stopped drinking. I don't know if it will always be okay, but right now, things are a lot better. I love those freakin' meetings I am going to. It is really funny how much I have in common with those folks. At first I didn't think I did, but now it seems like every time someone talks, I can relate to them. Here's an example.....Leroy was looking at new trucks and we can't afford one, so I figured if he got one without asking me, I would tell him if he didn't take it back I would go get a bottle of Chardonnay. I told this to a guy at the meeting, He said "that makes sense, if he didn't do what you wanted, you'ld *drink at him*". Is that hilarious or what!
And this is what they said about Destiny.....

She has what they call Periodic Fever Syndrome. Now the Dr. said that this is usually only seen in exceptionally bright children. Sons and Daughters of Doctors and University Professors. Online it notes this problem, but says nothing about whether a child is usually bright that has it or not. One thing is that it has no long term effects, but she will have temps every 21 to 28 days for 3 to 5 days. This will probably last until she is close to ten.

Now that wasnt' so bad, was it ;-)
And this is Day 13, and not a bad Monday.

I had clients waiting for me when I walked in this morning. They are having issues with childcare. In case you don't know, what I do for a living is assist persons in transition, i.e. welfare to work, prison to work, drug rehab to work, public housing to work, etc, to find work. There was a break down in the system for this couple though, and now they don't have childcare. So I have to help them straighten out the problem and get them work.

To tell you the truth I don't generally deal with a lot of clients anymore, I coordinate the program, write grants for funding, do annual work plans, all reporting and billing, etc., but one of my case managers is out for a couple of days and I am working with this couple. I enjoy it, it's been a while since I was able to work closely with people.

I will leave work at 11:45, go to my daily meeting, go pick up Destiny from the daycare, go by our house (two blocks from the daycare) and pick up the right wedding ring, and take Destiny to St. Pete to see the specialist. For some reason I put on my old engagement ring when I left the house today and now my wedding ring. Dont' know how I made that mistake. This one I have on is even too small for me.

Sunday, June 17

Well it's the end of another weekend. Church was good, afterwards we went to a friend's house to eat. He made pork chops, chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, brocolli casserole, green beans, macaroni salad, blueberry and apple cobbler, vanilla ice cream, Kool Aid, and sweet tea.

At 7 pm the kids were saying they were hungry. Can you believe that?

Tomorrow I take Destiny to a specialist to see why she keeps getting high temps every month or so. I guess they will run a bunch of tests.'s time for me to take a bath and watch Court TV. I already gave Leroy his Father's Day present this morning ;-). I also got him a buffer to wax the cars (it's what he wanted).

And the work week will begin.........

To my Dad, and all the Dad's out there!!!

We had a great time at the beach, but I came home exhausted! We are all going to church this morning, including Leroy ;-), then to a friends house for lunch/dinner. The kids will want to eat again when they get home anyway.

It's early in the morning, but I am well rested and feel pretty good. Leroy gave me a Claritin before I went to sleep. I was overexposed to the elements yesterday and was all clogged up with eyes running. The Claritin always wakes me up clear headed.

I don't feel like doing a big breakfast this morning though, Father's Day or not. I can do Leroy some pancakes, but it's cereal for the kids. I may try to get a couple more minutes sleep!

Saturday, June 16

Well after countless tries, I was finally able to change my background color. Hope you like it. It is an original water color done by a lady named Karen Shader. I have her little logo on the left side of my page, but have to get a link back to her page later. I saved her site to my browser at work and will have to look for it here at home.

We went to see Tomb Raider last night. It was our intention to see Swordfish, but we go to the Drive In Movie. The last one in Hillsborough County. Anyway.......they have two big screens and one smaller screen and Swordfish was on the smaller screen. We don't like that screen and it is farther away from the bathrooms as well ;-)!

Today we are going to Ft. De Soto again. Leroy is working but I will take the kids, my Big Book, the book my sister gave me which is called Seasons of a Woman's Life and we will chill out. Even though I am fat I am going to wear my bathing suit that gives me the opportuntiy at the most sun. So watch out!!! Beached Whale!!

By the way...........this is Day 11 ;-)

Friday, June 15

I have made color changes and they don't show up. Wonder why?
While Micheal Paige (our undisputed Blogspot Guru) was having a "conversation" with another blogger, in BlogSpot Discuss, about whether it was easy to put a screen shot up. I learned how to do a screen shot. This was something I had always wondered about. So it just goes to show you, that some good can come out of contraversy. And here it is......

Now I just have to find someplace to host my pictures for free.  Homestead (where I've been hosting) is no longer going to be free

I have to learn to save it to the size I want it to look good at, but it's a start ;-)

Thursday, June 14

I am going to Kash n' Karry Food Stores.
Well, I have nothing laid out for dinner, and I guess I may as well go get groceries. I usually do it on Saturday, but I want to go to the beach on Saturday. Leroy probably has to work, but I think I will drive way over to Ft. DeSoto Beach anyway. I love it there. I heard it was rated #3 on the top beaches in the U.S. That doesn't suprise me. It's lovely. Trees, grass, picnic tables, right next to white sand and clean water. Well if I am going to go I better get going!
I don't know whether you will like this or not but here it is!! Brittany Spears totally nude! Of course, thank again to Surreally for keeping it real!
Well, my latest post shows up here where I post things, but not on my site. Wonder what the problem is this time. Boy, this is ongoing, isn't it. Well..........better get to work and let Ev (the blogspot guy) work out his problems hisself.
Okay.....I said I would put it on my blog, why it is so important that I quite drinking. Other than it keeps makes me irresponsible. Well, here it is. I have Chronic HCV. All you could possibly want to know and probably don't want to know is on this site. There are others sites, but this is a good one. I am in pretty good shape right now, but I have to take care of myself. That includes not drinking alchohol. Do I miss drinking? To tell you the truth, not really. I feel so much better already. This is Day Nine, by the way. My liver doesn't hurt as much and I have more energy although I am still tired. I enjoy the meetings I go to, and my life is more organized. Please feel free to email questions if you have any. I am an open book obviously!

Wednesday, June 13

Got a call at 3:15 pm from the daycare. Our Granddaughter Destiny (age 3, who lives with us) had a temp of 102.6. She had had a temp last night as well, and I told the daycare to keep an eye on her today. Well, I managed to get her into the Dr. by 4 pm. They could find nothing wrong.

This has been going on for a long time, high temps, nothing wrong, blood tests, nothing wrong. Used to be her temps would be a couple of months apart, now it's more frequent. Last time was around May 24-25 and everyone knows where I was then. So they are going to send her to a specialist in St. Petersburg across the Bay about 20-30 miles approx. I don't know how long it will take to get an appt. Have to do it tomorrow. Well time to cook dinner again!
This is Day 8 without drinking. I have been going here Tri-County Central Office, Inc. and I like it! It is actually big fun! I go everyday at noon and I have started to look forward to it. I guess whatever it takes, right?

Tuesday, June 12

I've been told by one person that the stuff under my javascript that says "I really ought to get out more often" jumps when the javascript jumps. I don't see that but would be interested in knowing if anyone else see the icons etc. jump or stand still. Please email me at
Well it looks like Blogger is all messed up again. I get error messages when I either try to get to Blogger or into the DISCUSS area where I posted a thread about a problem I've been having. Everytime someone with IE 6 hits my site they crash, and I have no idea why. Now everyone knows that template's cannot be editted right now. Yes I know, it's free and we can't complain, but I've put a lot of work into this thing. A lot of myself and I would like it to be here for a while ;-)

Monday, June 11

I just asked my daughter Jamila (age 8) if she thought she was the "Queen of Sheba", the Georgie (age 9) asked what the "Queen of Sheba" was. To tell you the truth, I don't remember. My mother and grandmother used to say that. I can hear it now, "Who do you think you are, the Queen of Sheba. Some one sign my guest book or email me who the Queen of Sheba is, okay?
Well this is Day 6 with no Chardonnay, or for that matter beer, or brandy either. I must admit to feeling considerably better and encourged. Maybe in a couple of days I will admit and post here one of the MAIN reasons for my need to quite drinking (no, I'm not pregnant!). How could you think that ;-)!

Dinner tonight was Beanie Weenies, Fried Potatoes with onions, Salad, and I finally made the Spice Cake with Georgie's help. Leroy isn't home yet. They sent him to a new job site today. Instead of running a Bull Dozer, he was running a Back Hoe. It wasn't as noisey when I called. His dinner is waiting in the microwave.

Girls have already showered. Boys are fixing to do their chores........oh wait......Georgie can't wipe the table off 'til after desert and the spice cake is still warm and can't be frosted..................................okay, ice cream (vanilla and orange sherbert mix) tonight and we can do the spice cake tomorrow. I will frost it later.

By the way......have heard nothing from Joy at all.
I have never seen anything quite like this, check it out!
I kept doing this thing over and over in hopes that the Nose would do something different.
Get a Gangsta Name! Now this one kind of blew me away. My gangsta' name is Stupid Ass did it know? LOLOLOL

I am part Cherokee and have not been the brightest star in the sky lately (going back a couple of weeks) ;-)!

This was fun.
Get a Taxi Driver Name! I get all these wonderful links from RedDwarf's website. Where does he come up with all these things???? taxi driver name is now....Gckstÿkkkhanatuk White....Don't ask me how they came up with that from Jamie Jackson, but that's me. I like my Porn Star name better. If I remember it was Electra Deluxe or something simular.
On this site you can look at other people's lost photogragh. Sounds silly right, but I spent 30 minutes on Splash!

Sunday, June 10

Okay Dinner is finally done, I never did get around to putting my clothes up in the bedroom, but I did wash the dining room shams, and get ALL the laudry done. Well I better make plates. Then I can put up all the clothes in the bedroom and get the girls in the bath, then I can bathe and lay down. Probably by 8 pm, hopefully anyway. I am TIRED!!!!!
I am tired. Just got finished cleaning the little girls room ages 9, 6, and 3. It took only two hours though, so I guess I should be grateful. The only problems is that my back is not like it used to be and now I hurt. I have to finish cooking. Having navy beans, yellow rice, corn bread, porks steak for the kids and round steak for Leroy and I, oh, and salad. I am scared to say we had scrambled eggs, grits, bacon and biscuits for breakfast. I got lots of hits for a misspelled ***bicuit*** last time ;-)

Church was REALLY good. Think we will go back to that one next Sunday. There is only one black couple there though. I wonder how Leroy would feel about that if he decides to go. I don't guess it makes much difference, but you never know what Leroy is thinking. He sometimes can complex up on me.
Sunday Morning....I think we'll go to the church on the corner this morning. It's close, it's still full gospel, and I don't think they will go over too long. As I have search along this Internet highway......I have found all kinds of people with all kinds of lifestyles, and one thing I think is important........we should respect everyone's way of life as long as they are harming no one else. But that is the *key* isn't it. As long as that lifestyle *harms* no one else. Hopefully the life we lead will influence others in a positive way. If it doesn't then maybe we need to rethink our lifestyle.

I did this very recently, as anyone who has been here before knows. I came to the realization that maybe my lifesyle and my actions could influence my children to believe that the path I had chosen and it's consequences were correct, and it wasn't and they were not. But the raises another we have a moral obligation to stand against those who may affect society as we know it in what we consider a negative way, and who is to say our view of society is correct for everyone.

I believe the situation changes some when those that are close to you are involved and are being harmed of course, but I believe that underneath we are all basically the same. We all have the same needs for love, belonging, power, peace, etc. Some just choose to find those needs in different way. I hope we all can fulfill those needs without harming another. After all if you love your fellow man you will not harm him, or steal from him, or any of the other things that are considered *amiss* or *unsuitable*. My sermon for the day.

Saturday, June 9

Okay, I'm going to call it a night................Dang, 5 hours.....neck hurts
Well I have spent HOURS online! Had lots of fun, signed lots of guest books, met a few people. Some nice, some that maybe misunderstood the written word.

I was at a conference Friday about writing grants and they talked about how easily it is to misunderstand the meaning of the written word. It always REALLY bugs me when this happens to me though. When acually it is up to me to make my written word clear. Ah well........
Well I have ran into a lady who thinks you are not suppose to learn html from looking at the view source of other persons sites, but yet every one I have spoken to has learned html doing just that. I guess it would be diffrent if you linked to their pictures, or stole their background, etc. But to look at their code and learn how to do an email link--one that uses text, i.e Email Jamie Here? I guess we would all be in trouble. And my buddy, Daniel would be the first one who could blow the whistle on me, since he let me have the code to do my little flowers and look at his source for many other things. As a matter of fact, most of the people in my blog list drop down have contributed some little tid bit to this site. If it wasn't for Surreally I would have never known how to add a picture. Hope the code police don't find out ;-)
Well, I have added pictures to the VIEW PICTURES HERE area, and I have added an area over there where anyone who wants to can add a link to their website. Then people can go from there! Now I wonder if someone adds their link, and someone else goes there, if the first person can tell it came from my blog?
Well Leroy didn't go to Dad's house, but Jane was there and we cooked hamburgers and hot dogs and had fun with all the kids! I am putting a few pictures up and will put a couple nice ones where it says "VIEW PICTURES HERE" a little later.
My Dad and me after his wedding!
Well, it is a lovely morning, better get ready!
Saturday morning....we are supposed to go to my Dad's house and spend some time, but I know Leroy wants to clean the yard. We are just going to have to get everything ready before he gets up and then just shuttle him along. He can do the yard tomorrow when we are at church. I'll leave Jake with him or maybe both the boys for just this once. We need fun days!

Friday, June 8

Okay, what's for dinner
Well, thanks again to my Blogger Boy Buddy Daniel , without whose help I would have never figured this mess out. I had copied my View Source into my template. Real bright, huh. Luckily he had told me earlier to save a copy of the blog.
Okay now let's see if it works

Thursday, June 7

Still not working. Damn it!
Well I wonder what the problem is this time!
Well, my imood is not working and by blog voice, as everyone knows, is not working. I wonder if anyone elses is.........
Well this is Day Two with out my beloved Chardonnay. Is it possible I already have more energy?

Went to court yesterday about the restraining order Joy put on me. I told the Judge the circumstances and he asked Joy if she was afraid of me, she told him "no, not really". He said, "you two have a lot of problems, but violence isn't one of them, Case Dismissed". Joy said, "who pays court costs?" Judge said, "You do, young lady". I walked out.

Now let's see what happens to the next case. Gosh, I acually feel kind of good today. Maybe it was the Chardonnay that was depressing me and making me tired.

Wednesday, June 6

It is extremely hard for me, having the ability to look at Joy's bank account on the Internet, to not go and look and find out what's been happening. So I did it and found out that she has bounced $389.02 worth of checks. She has done this with the full knowledge that there were no funds available. I believe this is a felony. My counselor says that I MUST stop doing this, so I will. It is difficult to just set back and watch your child destroy their lives without doing anything about it, but it is obvious that I must.

I go to court today for the restraining order, have a meeting mid day, and have to go the the Doctor this afternoon, so I have a full day a head of me. Jake is at orientation for Summer school, so I will pick him up afterwards and take him with me for moral support. Better get going!

Tuesday, June 5

Well, got a postcard from Jake's school yesterday and now Jake has to go to summer school. Failed both Algebra and Physical Science. To focused on girls and not school work. We were all very disappointed. He may still be able to work at the park after lets out at 12:30, but I wonder if he will have a lot of homework he needs to do. He was already in after school tutoring during the year. I wonder what happened. They didn't send me a progress report or maybe they did and it didn't make it all the way to me.

My stress doesn't seem so bad lately. Even with all the stuff that's happening. I'm kind of resigned to it now. Maybe it's because we went to church Sunday. I'm going to see if that church has a website and put a link here. It was wild. When I go to church I like full gospel churches, and this one was ACTIVE. We partied big time ;-).

Monday, June 4

The kids started their Summer program at the Rec Center. Jacob will be working there this summer in a Teen Program where he will help the Coaches with the kids. It's called Leadership in Training (LIT). I'm really glad he has something productive to do, and it includes a lot of field trips and other perks. They went to the movies Friday night, this allows him to do fun stuff and be supervised. This will work out a lot better for me. He will be 15 in July, and is still a good boy. I want him to stay that way ;-)!

Saturday, June 2

We just got back from Hillsborough River State Park and I am beat. George (9), Jamila (8) and Lee Lee (6) are in the outside pool now. Don't know where they get the energy ;-)!

I am so GLAD I got Road Runner and Hotmail and MSN messanger. Beats the poop out of AOL.........I have to change my template to make everything coincide though.......well have to add one of my buddies to my blog list on the left side.

Hope your day is going well, whoever you are ;-)!

Friday, June 1

Today should be an easy day. I'm doing mock interviews this morning. Helping the young men learn to interview. They do it in front of the entire class and then we discuss each one. It is not easy for them, but if they can get through that they can get through a real one easily. In the afternoon, I take them on a tour of what the CDC of Tampa is doing in the community, i.e. the laundry, the business incubators, the apts, the houses, the youth and family services center, and I even bring them out here to see a Habitat for Humanity community.

No one, including me, feels like doing anything on a Friday afternoon.

The kids are sleeping in this morning. School is out and the Rec Center doesn't open until 2 pm. Jake will take Destiny to the the Day Care when he gets up.

I don't like my hair cut, but everyone keeps saying it looks good.

Well, I better get ready for the day ;-)