Tuesday, December 30

Thursday, December 18

I am so tired.

I like my new job, but there is a bureaucracy that is kind of crazy. I'm used to running my own deal. Now everything I create has to be approved by three different people. Fortunately, I have a wonderful supervisor!!!! The rest of the folks are cool too, but I really like Darra and my coworker Altavise.

Friday, December 12

School had consumed my life for many years now. All I can say is...........I graduate with a BS in April and I recommend to all young people...............DON'T WAIT!!!

Thursday, December 11

Tomorrow is my last day of school for this semester...........WOO HOOO!!! It is also the end of a my year long group project!!! I am so glad.

NOW, I only have 12 more credits to graduate and I could not be happier. It has taken me 10 years to get my Bachelor's Degree and it is almost over.

I guess I am going straight into the Master's Program. I may as well since I am used to going. Plus while working with this company, I have a feeling that the education will come in handy. I really hope to stay with ACS until I retire. I switching companies, but in this one, a person can move around and stay in the same company. That will work well for me since I get bored so easily.

Wednesday, December 10

I am SO freakin tired. For some reason I can't hardly make it past 3 pm. I am a morning person though.

Oh, whatever!

Tuesday, December 9

Christmas time!! I sure don't feel like it. I am going to have to get the tree up. I am just so NOT feeling Christmasy.

Wednesday, December 3

I am doing WELL at the new job.

One thing I haven't told you yet.....................I drink again. It is not really bad, but I can't go to church at night and haven't been on Sunday for almost 3 months.

I have to get it together. Church is important to me. My relationship with God is important to me.

It won't be today though.

Friday, November 28

The first week on the job was great. I got T-Day and today off and I still get paid. WOOO HOOO!! The real business starts Monday.

Georgie has fallen and broke his two front teeth. I have a call into the dentist, but I don't really know what to do.

Friday, November 21

National Do Not Call Registry
As we move along this "Information Highway" a lot of us develop relationships, friendships, with the people we meet here. This is true of me. I have friends that I have had for a number of years. Some I have met in person and I have grown close to. Others, I have only corresponded with, but the relationships have blossomed in to wonderful friendships.

There is a man in Georgia who lived in a cabin with his wonderful wife. For the last couple of years we have talked about all kinds of things. Recovery from alcoholism, children, family, yardwork. I had not heard from him in a while and knowing that he was ill, I feared the worst. Today I received an email from his wife that Clay is dying. They do not expect him to last until Sunday.

I cannot tell you how saddened I am by this. A wonderful man I have never met, but who I looked up to as a friend and mentor is passing. He shared his Experience, Strength and Hope with me. Thank you Clay. Save a spot for me buddy.

Monday, November 17

Well, I got the job. The only thing they have to check about is whether there is a corporate policy on my felonies. After all they were 14 years ago.

I start Wednesday. How in the world, am I EVER going to finish everything up by Wednesday!!!

Friday, November 14

Now this next one is pretty cute!!!! Although I don't know if I agree with the Oracle!!!
The Oracle Advises...

cleaning the house

Ask the Oracle a Question
Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||| 30%
Schizoid |||| 18%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 54%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 62%
Borderline |||||||||||| 50%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 62%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||||| 62%
Avoidant |||||| 26%
Dependent |||||||||||||||| 62%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 66%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test

This is kind of strange...........................
SimilarMinds.com > Free Enneagram Personality Test and Community

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.
Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

This is IT here ----> Corn Bread and Sausage Stuffing
McCormick - Recipes - Candied Sweet Potato Casserole - Side Dish I am looking for some new recipes this year!

I think they are going to give me that job at ACS though, and that will eliminate my new persona. I like the program they described though and it is not a management position, so I don't have that added stress. The salary is fair, actually good for here in Florida.

I will miss this time here.

Wednesday, November 12

Tuesday, November 11

Basingstoke Life
Resume of Jamie Jackson
I have a second interview with ACS for a Career Manager position. I don't know if I am ready to go back to work, but I will for the right amount.

I am really enjoying working in the house. There is so much to do!!! I wish I could work part time, but there are no benefits with that even if you can find it.

Oh well, wish me luck, or pray for me.

Monday, November 10

Why didn't I take care of all this on the weekend? Saturday we worked on it! Can you imagine? Yesterday I spent with my hubbie! The Bucs were robbed!
I have gotten 5 children off to school. Found a uniform that defied being found, rescued a shoe that was under a mountain of clothes (clean or dirty? I have no idea).

Combed hair that I should have braided yesterday, dropped one off and had to come back home to get her signed "Friday Report" so she didn't get detention or "boot lunch" as they have it at the Academy.

Now I have cereal bowls half full on the table, milk left out from the night before that is probably going to have to go for the dogs, mountains of laundry, both dirty to wash and clean to fold. Not to mention my school work from my 12 credits I am taking this semester. Did I mention I need to finish stenciling the vines in my hallway, and that they just opened a new store here called "Old Times" that has the greatest stuff at the best prices that I HAVE to get to.

Maybe I need a nap before I get started!

Tuesday, November 4

   Join The life and times of Jamie Jackson, varied    

 MSN Groups

United States Potato Board - Recipes:
"Chicken and Gravy Pouch Potatoes"

4 servings
Preparation Time: 10 Minutes
Cooking Time: 35 Minutes

2 cups frozen peas

1/2 medium red bell pepper, cut into strips

2 teaspoons dried thyme leaves

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon pepper

4 sheets (12 inches square) heavy duty aluminum foil

1 1/3 pounds (4 medium) potatoes, sliced 1/4-inch thick

4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, sliced 1/2-inch thick

1 jar (12 ounces) prepared chicken gravy

Heat oven to 450°F. In bowl, mix all ingredients; divide equally among foil sheets (about 1 1/2 cups each), placing mixture on right halves of foil squares. To seal each pouch, fold left side of foil over mixture. Fold in right edge 1/2 inch; fold again. Fold top and bottom edges the same way, leaving room for heat to circulate inside pouch. Place on baking sheet and bake in center of oven 35 minutes. To open pouches, with scissors, cut a cross in the top of each, then pull back points, being careful as steam is released.

Calories: 355
Fat: 7 g
Cholesterol: 67 mg
Sodium: 1817 mg
Carbohydrates: 42 g
Fiber: 7 g
Protein: 36 g "
All about Potatoes at Potato Help.com
I learned how to knit today and I am making a scarf. I got a lot done to the house yesterday and now I am going to spend the next hour or so folding clothes, then go get the girls from Elementary school, go to the store, come home, fold more clothes, cook dinner, etc.

Jake's girl friend is going to come over at 2 and paint the ceiling in the hallway. My dining room looks so great in my 3 colors of green and border. I love to walk in the door now!!

Monday, November 3

My sister Sherry from Bakersfield California and her husband Bob, came to visit. I got them to stay about a week, but it wasn't easy. They have driven all across the United States and are now driving back.

I showed them all the sites including Guavaween, Ft. Desoto Park, St. Pete Peir, etc. We had a great time, but I have been in school the last two weekends as well, so now my house is a disaster area! LOLOLOL

I hope they end up moving here.

Bob helped my paint my dining room while they were here. I did it in three different colors of green and put a borner around the tope that has leaves in green and gold on a white background. I am going to paint ALL the ceilings a very light peach, the laundry room will be light blue and the hallway peach and light blue. Probably Peach for the living room, but I am not sure yet.

I am trying to use my time wisely since I am not working anymore, but it's hard to keep up with the normal house work; never the less, the painting, etc.

I am going to bring my plants in this winter. I don't usually. I just cover them up when we get a small freeze, but I have a big shelf now in the dining room where they would look lovely. If you want to see you must go to Yahoo Messenger and find me PoJamie143@yahoo.com, then, I will show you on my web cam. No perverts need apply. (big grin)
Oh Man!

Tuesday, October 14

Took Lee Lee to the Doc today. They doubled her meds for her ADHD. That's good, because it seems to be working.

I am cooking spaghetti tonight, and salad.

The kids (George and Lee) are doing their homework. Destiny is at Aunt Lillie's playing with her cousin Tina. Jake is at work. Jamila is still at school. She is in tutoring.

I need to go fold clothes.
Blondes have more fun cooking - Cookbook I saw this on a morning TV show, local here in Tampa.
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
Jackson is the #13 most common last name.
0.31% of last names in the US are Jackson.
Around 775000 US last names are Jackson!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
Jacob is the #122 most common male name.
0.165% of men in the US are named Jacob.
Around 202125 US men are named Jacob!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
George is the #16 most common male name.
0.927% of men in the US are named George.
Around 1135575 US men are named George!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
Leighanne is a very rare female name.
Very few females in the US are named Leighanne.
Be proud of your unique name!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
Jamila is the #1672 most common female name.
0.004% of females in the US are named Jamila.
Around 5100 US females are named Jamila!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
Destiny is the #1074 most common female name.
0.007% of females in the US are named Destiny.
Around 8925 US females are named Destiny!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
Leroy is the #144 most common male name.
0.125% of men in the US are named Leroy.
Around 153125 US men are named Leroy!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?: "
Jamie is the #146 most common female name.
0.153% of females in the US are named Jamie.
Around 195075 US females are named Jamie!
source namestatistics.com
Name Statistics - How popular are your first and last names?

Monday, October 13

Destiny has a temperature.
I am volunteering at Jamila's school today serving lunch. I am also going to work on their website, so that should be fun. In the meantime I am going to get this house semi clean.

I have to leave here at 10:30 and go by the store too!! So what are you doing stranger?
Okay! Life is on the upswing. I had an interview last week, although I am in no hurry to go to work. I have plenty of work to do around here!

I had a good weekend, and plan to have a good week.

Thursday, September 25

I bought a wok.
.........this house is in a lot better shape! I'm starting to get stuff organized now. I had to redo my files and create files for resume, reference, etc stuff, and then a separate file for all the unemployment print out stuff. I don't really have a lot of space to do a lot of things I would like to do here.

Did I tell you, I've always wanted to buy stuff and sell at the flea market and ebay. It's kind of a weird hobby I would like to have and be able to make cash money. I may even put an ad in the community paper and do resumes. I've purchased stuff for the kids to be able to put their towels back in the bathroom on their own hook and everything. The only thing is I need to pain some rooms.

Wednesday, September 17

Well, I wrecked the van. Lee Lee busted her nose. She had the seat belt on, but it was too loose! State Farm called me first thing this morning, then they had Enterprise call me and I have a rental car for 5 bucks a day. One good thing is that I pay 400 dollars a month for car and life insurance on the kids and that is a lot, but I guess I'm getting my money's worth out of it.

I'm surprised they are not totaling the van. It's messed up.

I am suppose to volunteer at Jamila's school today. I guess I could get out of it, but I may as well do my duty.

Monday, September 15

I am trying to get this house clean. I've been working on it for days, but man it sure had been neglected!!! I just got back from Walmart buying cleaning supplies and the veggies to make a stew for dinner. I have to put the spegehtii from last night into freezer bags too!

Lee Lee to the Doc today as well! This is kind of fun, you know????

Friday, September 12

Well, things have changed quite a bit. Monday they eliminated my postion at the CDC at so I am officially unemployed.

I didn't want to be there anymore and that's a fact, but I have had so MUCH stress lately that I weirded out for a couple of days. So much so that my husband had the ladies at the church come pray with me. I am sure glad they did too!! I also went to the Doc who changed my meds. She said I was having Panic Attacks. Once I found out what was wrong I almost felt better immediately. She also changed my Paxil to Paxil CR 50 mg. That is the time released kind. The she gave me so stuff to take at night.

I won't say anything else about the CDC because at least the way they let me go was decent enough.

I have filed for unemployment and got the letter about it today.

I made Lasagna tonight and am going to make a salad. You hungry?

Thursday, September 4

I have an interview tomorrow morning with Remedy Staffing. I have also been contacted by Ranstad staffing for a position.

I am tickled pink! Everyday now at the CDC where I work, they do things to make me feel "less than". Eight years of my life I gave that organization and now this. I didn't post here the problems I have had there, but suffice to say, I let them know that I thought their focus was more on the money than the community. That would be fine if they were a for profit organization, but they represent theirselves to be members of a community that I don't think they truly relate to.

Did I tell you I got written up for giving a client a bowl of rice and beans?
"Walking on Water

A rabbi, priest, and a minister are out fishing in a boat on a big lake when the priest realizes that he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to disturb the fishing of the others in the boat by having them take him to shore, he gets out of the boat and walks across the water to do his business and then returns to the boat.

A little while later the minister has to go also and he does the same. He walks across the water, does his business and returns across the water to the boat.

Finally the rabbi feels the urge to go to the bathroom too, so he climbs out of the boat. But instead of walking across the water, he falls into the water and starts to wildly splash around. The priest and the minister finally drag the rabbi back into the boat and the priest turns to the minister and says, 'Maybe we should have told him where the rocks were.'"

Wednesday, September 3

Oh, most folks know but I am a convicted felon (14 years ago). I am working on a Pardon (Executive Clemency). Wanna write me a letter of recommendation?
I just CAN"T go pick up Lee Lee and have her do her homework in the office with me for very much longer. This stress is getting past the point of reason.

Now, the other kids have gone to church and Lee Lee and I are here at home. She has to do her homework. It is already 6:30 p.m. in Sunny Florida folks! We have at least 4 hours worth of work and you know we can't do it.

My house is filthy!! I think I'm losing it. I started smoking again of all things.

At least things are cool with the other 4 kids. Pray for us, here?

Tuesday, September 2

Leighanne has always been distracted easily. I guess I have always known she was ADHD, but I didn't want to have her labeled. I was dead set against meds. She didn't learn anything in first grade but they passed her anyway because they were afraid she would fail 2nd grade too and she turns 9 in December. So she went to 2nd grade knowing nothing and failed 2nd because she had no foundation to build on.

I managed to get her a MacKay scholarship and Praise God for whoever this MacKay is, because now at least she is in private school. She does not do her work in class though and she has at least 4 hours worth of homework a day because of this.

I finally have asked the Doc for the Connor test so she can be diagnosed and put on meds to help her focus more in class. I bring her to work for two hours with me after school and I just can't tutor her for two hours every day at my job and then go home and do it for another 2 hours.

I decided not to try to graduate with my BS in December. I will do all my work this semester and then dual enroll in my last few credits undergrad and do a couple of Masters classes.

My stress level is pretty high right now.

Thursday, August 28

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?

Tuesday, August 26

Celebrating Every Freckle

Dear God,
As You know, some days I wish
I looked different than I do.
How good it is to be reminded, Lord,
that You had me -- exactly this me--
in mind long before I came to exist!
So today I present myself to You
with a grateful heart.
Help me to be a good steward of my body.
Because You designed it,
I want to celebrate, nurture, and respect it.
By Your power at work in me,
I praise You for every molecule, gene, and freckle!

- Heather Kopp
Practice Meditation: Four Audio Meditations
Five things I am grateful for:

My children

My husband

My current health status

My home

My job (even though I don't act like it!)

Tuesday, August 19

I got Lee Lee into her new Christian School today. She was the last to go. Everyone else started the 6th. Since I just got back in town Friday night, I am still trying to catch up. I have a lot to do for school myself and I have to get my afternoon schedule down pat yet. I am still not sure who to pick up first. Today, I am going to try to leave work at 4:30, pick up Lee Lee, catch the interstate, pick up Jake and then Jamila. Jake is doing OJT at an attorney's office from 1:30 until 5:00 now, and since Jamila is in the Academy Prep - I have to provide transportation. Same with Lee Lee and the Baptist School, but she gets out at 2:45 and I have to pay after that. Not much though....3.50 per hour. I don't know, I guess I will get it all figured out sooner or later.

Weird stuff happening in California too after the death and funeral.........now it is attorney time and my nephew's father was the first to the lawyer. I don't even want to imagine how HOT my sister was.

Life goes on...............

Tuesday, August 12

James Roy Osborne
Feb. 26, 1976 Aug. 7, 2003 Visitation: Tues., Aug. 12, 6-9 p.m.
Services: Wed., Aug. 13, 10 a.m.
Visitation for James Roy Osborne will be held at Basham Funeral Care (3312 Niles Street) on Tuesday evening August 12, 2003, from 6-9 p.m. and a celebration of James life will be held at Canyon Hills Assembly of God (7001 Auburn Street) on Wednesday morning August 13, 2003, at 10:00 a.m. Interment will follow at Hillcrest Memorial Park.
James was born in Bakersfield on February 26, 1976, and he went to be present with the Lord on August 7, 2003. James was the second son of Sherry White and the loving fiancée of Kelly Matthews. James was blessed with a multitude of loved ones. In his short 27 years, he made an impact on those who came in contact with him. A true man of honor, he met his demise working and providing.
Those who mourn his passing include his loving mother, Sherry White; fiancée, Kelly Matthews; natural father, Gordon Osborne; father by upbringing, Ed Coleman; stepfather, Bob White; brother, Ronnie Osborne; sister, Kim Dick; uncle, William Hunter, Jr.; aunt, Jamie Jackson; aunt, Judi Pike; uncle, Roy Pike; aunt, Paula Leslie and many more aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, truly loving friends, comrades and his special friends, Casey and Theresa Brown.
James was loved by all that knew him and he will be deeply missed. We will meet on the other side. Pallbearers will be Casey Brown, Christopher Hunter, Jess Banks, Roy Pike, Vernon Turner, Casper, Lonnie Smith and Chuck Ekeahl. For additional service or floral delivery information, please contact Basham Funeral Care 873-8200.
Basham Funeral Care

Sunday, August 10

I am in Bakersfield, California my home town. People are here I haven't seen in 27 years. My brother, nephews, etc. Seems like yesterday, but everyone has turned in our mothers and grandparent.

Life is different here. My Dad gave me the money to come, This was my mothers side of the family so it doesn't involve him.

My Pastor has been great. The church is helping things there at home. The boy was working on an oil rig and got his head smashed off. It is so tragic here!

I love my family here just like I had seen them yesterday!

Thursday, August 7

The Rope is a story about a mountain climber at the end of his rope.

Sunday, August 3

"The Importance of Fresh Produce

Two boys, aged eight and four, were discussing Adam and Eve. The 8-year-old asked: 'How did Adam and Eve die?' And the 4-year-old said: 'They ate bad fruit.'"

Tuesday, July 29

You know I have been surfing the web. I don't have a lot of time to do that recently, but somehow with the kids at Vacation Bible School, Jake working at Busch Gardens, and Daddy helping his friends........I found the time.

You know what I found out? Some people truly dislike Christians. I mean they literally stereotype Christians as ugly, nasty, mean people full of hate.

I wonder why I didn't know this was going on. I mean, I am a Christian. I am opinionated. I admit that. I believe the Word of God. Word for word.

That means I love God's people. All of them. That is my job....to show the love of Jesus to others. Should I then, criticize my fellow man for not believing as I do? ABSULUTELY NOT. Should I let them know what I think the truth is? ABSULUTELY.

I just want others to know the same peace that I know.

NOW....the big question..............do I sin??? You could not have been reading this blog long or you would know that I screw stuff up royally!!!!

Wonder how I missed it though that some people hate us because we love Christ.
The person at Time For Your Meds! is interesting!
I am so glad I started playing with this thing again. It's fun!
Results...: "You are the forest.
You are the forest.

What Part of Nature Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla"
I went to Walmart Sunday and put a lot of stuff for the kids on layaway. School stuff, you really can't beat Walmart for school stuff!
Powered by audblogaudblog audio post
Bless Our Relationship
Dear God,
You have defined my desire: to be of immeasurable value to my spouse. Guide me in the ways that lead to this richness in relationship, and be glorified in my every effort.

I want to honor my spouse--and you--through my behavior. How can I do that today? Please show me and empower me.

- Heather Kopp

Monday, July 28

A Prayer to Live With Grace

May we discover through pain and torment,
the strength to live with grace and humor.
May we discover through doubt and anguish,
the strength to live with dignity and holiness.
May we discover through suffering and fear,
the strength to move toward healing.
May it come to pass that we be restored to health and to vigor.
May Life grant us wellness of body, spirit, and mind.
And if this cannot be so, may we find in this transformation and passage
moments of meaning, opportunities for love
and the deep and gracious calm that comes
when we allow ourselves to move on.

- Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro

Friday, July 25

A Letter Addressed to God

A letter written in a childish scrawl came to the post office addressed to "God". A postal employee, not knowing exactly what to do with the letter, opened it and read: "Dear God, my name is Jimmy. I am 6 years old. My father is dead and my Mom is having a hard time raising me and my sister. Would you please send us $500?" The postal employee was touched. He showed the letter to his fellow workers and all decided to kick in a few dollars each and send it to the family. They were able to raise $300.

A couple of weeks later the same post office received a second letter addressed to God. The boy thanked God for the recent infusion of cash, but ended with this request: "Next time would you send the money directly to us? If you send it through the post office they deduct $200."
Happy Friday Ladies and Gentlemen.

Question for you..............which female reading this is trying that new female viagra stuff? Email me and let me know hwo it works................
A Prayer for Children’s Values

God help us to weave a tapestry of love and not hate in our children, a spirit of tolerance and caring, a dedication to freedom for all and not just some. God help us to sow seeds of peace and justice in our children’s hearts today.

- Marian Wright Edelman

Wednesday, July 23

A Psalm of Comfort

As the deer longs for the water-brooks,
so longs my soul for you, O God.

My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God;
when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?

My tears have been my food day and night,
while all day long they say to me, "Where now is your God?"

I pour out my soul when I think on these things;
how I went with the multitude and led them into the house of God,

With the voice of praise and thanksgiving,
among those who keep holy-day.

Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul?
and why are you so disquieted within me?

Put your trust in God;
for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

- Psalms 42: 1-7

Monday, July 21

The End Is Near!

A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car.

One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"

All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other, and the priest said to the pastor, "You think maybe we should have just said 'Bridge Out' instead?"
It's Monday, I am still job searching and trying to continue to do an excellent job at my current job. I need some help with my house work!!!
What's up?

Sunday, July 20

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive."
In early June,

The day before Jake was to go on the missionary trip (a Sunday) he was suppose to go to the big send off at the church. He was scheduled to work, but Pastor asked him to ask me to call work and cancel out for him. He didn't mention it to me. I was scheduled for school that Sunday and was not aware of the big send off.

The night before (Saturday night) his girlfriend showed up at the house at 11:30 a night. When I went to get Jake he wasn't in his room, he eventually showed up. He had snuck out of the house and had tried to meet her half way. I fussed at him and led him in the house and told the girl to go home.

The next day (the day of the send off) he left for work, I left for school, but had told him to get off early to finish the packing, etc. for the trip and we were to go to church that night. When I got home and he was not at home I went to his job so they would let him off and we could get all the stuff done that needed to be done. They told me he had not even been to work, but had called in. By the time I got back home, he was here. I asked him how work had been and he said fine. I then told him I had been to his job, etc.

We went to church that night, but I was mortified by what he had done and could not hide my distress. When I spoke with Pastor about it, he said Jake could not go on the trip. Jake had been taking his time and goofing around learning his lessions the whole time and then him lying to Pastor about asked me to call in for him, and the entire situation made Pastor decide that Jake was just not ready to go. Everything had already been purchased apparently and that was just that.

After that things went straight to hell, with Jake leaving the house for 24 hours and refusing to go back to church. I missed church waiting for him to get back ready to go, and I don't do well when I don't go to church. LOTS of stressfull things happened in the month after all that to include me having a surgery to remove a lump from my breast.

Things are pretty much back to normal now, but that is what happened. I haven't told anyone who hasn't asked because I am still too mortified about the whole situation.

I appreciate you supporting Jake in this matter, and it just kills me that it ended up the way it did.

Long story huh..............
Good Morning!

Saturday, July 19


I attend a liberal college, and I am not exactly liberal. I am a Baptist. I believe in the Word of God and I take it literally. Try to say that in a classroom full of liberals.

Thursday, July 17

A Unique spiritual, Mental and Physical System
for Healthy Weight Loss

Matthew Anderson, D. Min.

THE PRAYER DIET is a comprehensive approach to both short and long-term weight loss and meaningful spiritual growth. You will be introduced to the life and body changing power of prayer as the central ingredient in an effective weight loss program. Then using prayer as your daily and often hourly guide, you will explore and transform the real reasons you overeat and also deepen your love for self and God.
A few passages from the book:

"What if you came to see that your excess weight is actually a pathway that can lead you to the most wonderful gifts that God can give you? What would you pray for then?"

"What if one prayer could change your mind, two could change your heart and three could change yopur life? When would you stop praying?"

"What if your belly hunger is really spiritual hunger? What if your food panic is really spiritual panic? How will these realizations affect your prayer?"

"I believe that humans are naturally spiritual. We have a God instinct. This instinct is not peripheral to our health and well-being - it is essential. If we ignore or trivialize it, we decompensate and suffer. One of the most common symptoms of spiritual neglect is obesity."

"What if weight gain was God's way of getting your attention and an invitation to growth and love? How would you feel about being fat and how then would you pray?"

"Daily conversation with God (prayer) will change you. Often it will change you in ways you could never predict. Besides losing weight, you may discover that you are more forgiving and patient, more loving and understanding.
many report that they are more at peace and less anxious. The list of expansions, insights, healings - even miracles - is endless. The point is that something wonderful will occur. Expect it. Look for it and enjoy it. Then pray some more."
This guy seems pretty cool.
My sister sent me this........

I wouldn't want my Pastor to see it, but it's funny!
I am on my way to the Doctor's the morning. The one who too the lump out of my breast last Tuesday. He will let me know what it was this morning, but the peliminary stuff said benign anyway.

Wednesday, July 16

Our intake person had a warrant out for her arrest and they took her to jail this morning. It was only 116 dollars to get her out and I went down to put up the money, but her X was already there.

Did I tell you my job has gone down hill? I am looking for a new job. Want my resume? Email me...............

Wanna know more about Recovery Month?

Monday, July 14

Saturday, July 12

I used to blog all the time, and then I didn't for quite a while, and now I am more interested in it again.

I am going to play BINGO with my friend Tanya this afternoon, I don't usually play but it sounds like fun. Jake says the old lady sydrome is happening. I guess that is possible ;-)

I had a great salad and wheat wrap with turkey and hummus for lunch. I am roasting a chicken (stuffed) for dinner. I got a good deal on it stuffed at Albertson's, it is a nice fat roaster and it was just 99 cents a pound already stuffed! All I had to do was stick it in the oven.

I am still looking for a new job. My job went all the way down hill, but I think if it keeps going the way it is going the whole place will go downhill not just my job. A lot of weirdness there, but I can't let that worry me. My responsibilities have been cut considerably and I was insulted at first, but then I realized that it left me with more free time. What I am going to do is make sure I write the next 3 claims for school at 3 credits each. If I can get that done, then I will have my BS by December!!!! I plan to continue on and on and on and on and on and on.................

I heard that if I stay in school I won't have to start paying my student loans back. Is that true?

Friday, July 11

I had a lump removed from my breast Tuesday. It was benign based on the first report, Praise God! I go back to the Titty Doc next Thursday. I am not working out this week. I am also taking antibiotics for an infection they found while doing pre op stuff.

The kids are running me bananas! Babies are so easy...............who replaced my sweet babies with this bunch of hooligans I have in my house................???????
I had myself convinced I could drink like a normal person again. So I tried and I can't. I am so blessed that I was able to make a zip fool of myself early on, enough to make me realize I can't live like that. One week was all it took!

Monday, July 7

Phone calls in the middle of the night from Jake's girl friend in New Jersey

Monday, June 30

Jamila has been allowed to take care of her own hair. She is 10 and does her little sisters' hair. I decided to do her hair this morning.

We have hidden DREDS. Now afro puffs, tears, screams........................

Friday, June 27

I have vacation next week!!!!
Wanna know how I got my motivation to work out and eat right? Well it's here now!!! There is my Yahoo group that has kept me going!

Click to subscribe to fitnessexchange

Do you like Sunflowers? I do!!

Thursday, June 26

I have been back to normal after being bad for a couple of days there. Physically I learned that my body no longer accepts stuff that is bad for it like it used to.

My body is now used to good stuff....veggies, fruits, whole grains, lots of water, exercise, etc. If I decided to drink alcohol and eat "thin end" rib sandwiches.................I will pay for it.........................dearly!!!!

I think with most people moderation is the key. I am just not a moderate person. I do things to the extreme no matter what it is that I am doing. I am taking very good care of myself and I want to continue to do so.

Now, since I haven't been to church in two full weeks, I guess I better get that side of me tightened up too!
CHURCH ATTENDANCE A church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and
complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've
gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard
something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a
single one of them.! So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are
wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."
Signed: Missing the message.
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor"
column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks
until someone wrote this clincher:
I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has
cooked some 32,000 meals for me. But for the life of me, I cannot recall
the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this:
They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work.
If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead
today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be
spiritually dead today.
When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something! Faith
sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!
All right...now that you're done reading...send it on! I think
everyone should read this.
When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you
get that for me?"

Wednesday, June 25

A woman I am helping who was in a drug rehab is back in jail. I think it was more of the rehab's fault than hers.

That's kind of tough.

Then I went by to talk to my Pastor and he was talking to a young man who just got out of prison after doing 12 years. He had went in when he was 17 years old and now is out, just turned 30. We are trying to get my husband to work with him. He is still bitter.

Other than that it has been a good day. I went to see my liver Doc and he says I look okay. I took some blood work.

How 'bout you?

Saturday, June 21

I went to the banquet for the American Liver Foundation last night. It is part of a group project in school, so I can actually do what I would like to do anyway and get a grade for it.

It was very nice. Upscale. I blew my diet eating filet migon and salmon. Oh well! If you're going to blow your diet it may as well be with the best.

The silent auction was very good. I think I may have one a couple of things, but I left early so I expect to hear from Maria soon. I had two glasses of Chardonnay, which would not worry the average person, but with my background.............may not have been the best idea.

I know because of my liver, I cannot drink, but it seemed appropriate last night.

Wednesday, June 18

An Apocalyptic One-Liner
Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God pushes the date back a little just to be funny.
I saw after I post all that, that I had just done the same thing a few weeks ago!!! DUUUUUHHH!
Oh wow wow wow!!! It had been so long since I had posted I didn't even know about Blogger's new wonderful look and easier ways to edit the HTML. I wish I had more time now to have fun with the web pages, but my life is so full right now it's crazy!!!!

So what has been happening with me?

I may have said this but I am down from 216 to 186. I am working out on a daily basis and eating healthier. The kids complain a lot, but they will be better off in the long run for eating healthier now.

We spend a lot of time at the YMCA now. Jake will be a Senior in high school next year. I have to get him a Geometery tutor!!! George will be going to a magnet school for International Studies and he has tested as gifted for math! Jamila is going to a new school called Academy Prep, they have class in the summer's as well. During the school year they go from 7:30 to 5:30 and have music, PE, chess, and Karate classes!!! It's a wonderful opportunity.

I found out that Lee Lee qualifies for the McKay Scholarship and will be able to attend a Baptist private school this upcoming year. She will have to repeat 2nd grade, but this is her best chance other than me home schooling her. AND......our Destiny is beginning Kindergarten!!!!!

I am not on the Internet as much as I used to be. I am also very involved in church now. PLUS I may have mentioned that I am full time at Springfield College............................

Wow...............that sounds like a lot, but to tell you the truth our life is just full. Kinda bursting at the seams a little too I guess!!!!
Wow, I can post again!! Okay I will get myself together and get back and post.

Tuesday, June 3

This is the Aberdeen City Council - Web Cam. It is a town in Scottland that a guy from my YAHOO fitness group goes to! Great huh?
Hey! That flower down there is growing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am trying so hard to keep up with all these kids. Jake will graduate high school next year, but I may have to hire him a tutor in geometry!!! He has a prepaid CC 2 year thing, so he is taken care of!

I have George on a waiting list for a Magnet school for Mathematics and Technology. He is in gifted classes now in those areas so that should work out fine.

Jamila will be going to Academy Prep. It's a new school here in Tampa and she will attend 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grades. They are remodeling and old school in Ybor city for it, and the curriculum should be challenging. It lasts 3 more hours a day than other schools and will be year round. It starts the 9th of June.

I have gotten Lee Lee into a Baptist school. Since she failed second grade, I think this will help. I also have to get her a tutor for this summer. She was able to get a scholarship for the school because she has been in speech classes all along.

Destiny will begin Kindergarten. I wish I could afford her to go to Baptist school too. She is bright and will do well where ever she goes, I just want her taught the Bible and not evolution.

And that is my life...................

Wednesday, May 28

I need a new job! Anyone need a VERY experience program manager.

Lots of weird things have happened to me, but lots of good things have happened too! One, I am not popular on my job now although they won't fire me like I asked them to do.

I am working out lots!! At least three spin classes a week at the Y and I am continuing to eat healthy although I have lost no weight this month. I still weighed in at 189 this morning.

I guess I should post my resume online and quite telling all my personal business on my blog ;-)!
Fantasy Fights Dancing Spirit Flower
Send a Flower!

Thursday, April 24

Jake was suppose to bring home his progress reports from all his classes to day. I got one and it was an F. Last semester Jake almost ran me crazy have to go on and on with him about getting all his back work done. He ended up going from Fs in all his classes to 2 Bs one A and one F in Geometery. I refuse to go through that again this semester. Jake will be 17 years old in July. If he is too stupid to do his work, he just will fail. I DO NOT need the stress of making him do his work.

They say when your children are little they step on your toes and when they are older they step on your heart.

Monday, April 21

Here are the pictures of Joy and the baby.

I took Joy to have her hair done, maxed my Target card out because she had no clothes nor did the baby. People from the church brought her a whole wardrobe! We got 2 car seats, a high chair and a stroller.

Yesterday she went "on a walk", was gone 2 hours and in the middle of the night last night she left and left a note saying she was going back to "Randy" because he deserves a second chance.

At least she didn't try to take Destiny.

Wednesday, April 16

Well, Joy is coming home and bringing my grandson.

I have prayed that God bring her home safely and He is! I will get a chance to love my little grandson now too! I am so happy. I am only sorry she had to learn the hard way about the situation she was in. I just hope and pray that now we can make this transition smoothly.

Saturday, March 29

More from the Autobiography.....

I lived in that house at 1805 Belle Terrace in Bakersfield California until I was 11 years old. Lots of things happened there. I ate orange sections with my Grandmother at night while we watched Gunsmoke. The police came one night when my Mother and Aunt were fighting and Moma threw a glass of Buttermilk and it got all over the police. I found all kinds of bugs and watched them up close. I had a Manx Cat named Bobbi who responded to you calling it like it was a dog. At one point I had two bantam chickens named Bonnie and Clyde. I saw my Aunt come in the house from a fight bloody. I got whippings with whatever my Grandma could grab at the time. I helped Grandma can vegetables and make chow chow. I went to Castro Lane Elementary School until I got tested and was placed in the “gifted” class in another school.
That house was spotlessly clean as my Grandmother was. We went to church on Sunday morning, Sunday nights and sometimes during the week. Just my Grandma Clara and me. I remember listening to Grandma cry out to God from behind her closed bedroom door, praying for her family that was unsaved or living else where. My Grandmother was strict, firm and hard workingwoman. There was little compromise in her, but she gave me a foundation as a child that I would return to as an adult, and I appreciate the way she raised me even though I NEVER showed it, nor probably never told her.
My mother lived in Grandma’s house from time to time. Occasionally she would live with a man elsewhere and that was fine. Mother was a waitress, she was pretty and men liked her. She didn’t always like herself though. Moma was addicted to pills and was an alcoholic, but her spells of bad and good would fluctuate. She had tried to commit suicide several times, she suffered from depression and seemed to get her greatest feelings of self worth when men were attracted to her, so naturally her break ups were always her worst time. I loved my Mother. She seemed so much more free and fun loving that my Grandmother to a youngster. She worked “graveyard” shift at the restaurant she worked at. She would be up drinking coffee and counting her tips in the morning when I woke up during the times she lived with Grandma, and I would help her stack the money for her to roll in paper rolls.
She gave me all her pennies and I started a bank account. I felt very grown up about that (smile). You know the funny thing is I had my account with Bank of America and that is the bank I use now 3,000 miles from my California upbringing.
When I got close to a hundred dollars, I went looking for a home for my mother and me. I found a small bungalow behind a big house that they wanted $75 a month for in the year 1971. It was perfect and I went to see it by self and let the landlady know I would take it. Right after I got my Grandma to give me my Penny Money.
They allowed me to rent the little place for us and my mother and I were back on our own. I guess she started getting welfare then, but I am really not sure. I do remember the commodities. The canned meat, hard peanut butter and big blocks of cheese. I know her drug addiction and alcoholism progressed rapidly during that time, and I remember sitting up one night with her while she either had DTs or just plain hallucinations from drugs. Poor Moma. Some folks are just not meant to raise children and she was just one of them.
I know she was seeing men, but I don’t remember them at all. I do remember walking into the bathroom one time seeing all the blood and a clothes hanger where she had given herself an abortion. Someone ended up burglarizing that little bungalow and stealing our little black and white TV and a roast we had in the freezer. I believe everyone assumed it was a man that mother had had a relationship with that had done it. We had to move after that, and we were able to rent a small house that sat on the alleyway at 2129 Verde St. I still dream of that house, although I know what in more recent years the house and property was purchased and a new house was built on the property more towards the street while the owner lived in the little house, and eventually the little house was torn down.

Thursday, March 13

Prayer. I pray like God is sitting next to me and I have some stuff to tell Him. I've never done a lot of formal praying. My prayers generally consist of thank God for individual things he has done in my and my families life, praying for folks (forgetting half or more of the ones that need the prayer), and praying to live in His will. I pray lots of times during the day as I think of things. Probably 10 times a day, a lot of which is "thank you Lord" type of thing or praying to have the right things to say to people.

I feel it's important to be more organized with my prayer. Like do a list and pray for folks. Also, my devotions. I saw where the Pastor's wife had written hers down and she had said she wrote down what the Lord said to her in that section of the Word. I like that idea, but if I do it on my own, I don't think I will stick to it.

Anyway...............I am not where I would like to be in these areas, I am okay, but is okay enough....................It probably would be for me alone, but God wants me to bring his Word to other folks, so I need to be in the right place with Him to bring the right Word.

In church last night, I got a kind of a revelation that if I wanted to know what God wanted me to do, I needed to study His word. Now that may not be significant to some folks, but it was a light bulb moment for me! It was like God was say, DUUUUHHH.

Wow...........I talk a lot.................Have a great day...........

Monday, March 10

Well, Lee Lee is out of school again today. The lice didn't quite get out, but I have done her hair again, and gotten tons of stuff done today! I got all my school things organized, Praise God! Plus I made folder for all the papers I need to have with me, like my YMCA schedules, stuff I am doing with church, To Do things, etc. Now I have to go deposit a check that my Dad gave Destiny for her Birthday and then transfer the money to Destiny's account, take some quick notes out of the library books I have and get them back to the library, go to the grocery store, get ready for aerobics class. Now that's not counting the 15 page claim for credit on Decision Making that I need to finish or my Autobiography which will probably take forever to do. I have the Women's prayer group at church tonight after aerobics. I wish we could combine the two!!! I do feel more organized though!

Friday, March 7

Lice Lice Lice. We have lice! Now when I was a kid only the "not good" folks got lice. Here in Florida, everyone who has a kid gets lice.

Just like the Gators that are in every puddle of water here. No one in California would believe that!

Sunday, March 2

More from the Autobiography is below
As I look back now, folks were doing a lot of moving around. I think that may be one of the reasons it was so important to me in my older life to become stable for my children and when I was younger it may have contributed to my restlessness and continued traveling. There are pros and cons to both situations, but I think it is more important to be as stable as possible.
From the time I was about 7 years old until I was 11 is the time I remember best in my childhood. The funny thing is that I only remembered negative aspects of that time until I worked the 12 Steps of a recovery program. I have really realized that was a great time in my life. Granted, there were some negative aspects, but overall life was pretty good.
I lived at 1805 Belle Terrace in Bakersfield California. Our phone number was 805-832-3299. The house was a old farm house, it was nice and we had about a quarter acre of land. You would walk into the front door and the house would be spotless. Straight ahead would be my grandmother’s recliner that she always had. The livingroom would veer to the left with a couch on each side of the room and a coffee table in the middle. One couch belonged to my Grandma Nicholson, my Grandma Clara’s mother. She had lived two house down and had watched me when we had lived in Lindsay. Grandma Nicky had taught me now to cut our paper dolls from newspaper and play “Button Button, who’s got the button”.
The large black and white TV sat at the far left on the center of the wall and it is where we watched shows like Bonanza and Gunsmoke. Directly to the right would be my grandmother’s room. It was a sunny room painted baby blue. Her furniture was white and everything would always be in it’s place. The floor’s were spotless and I recall that Grandmother only had to use a dust mop to get the dust out from under her bed. Today, in my house, with 5 children, I cannot imagine what it would be like to be able to keep my house as clean as my Grandmother kept hers. I strive for it every day, but it is just not possible.
You would have to walk around Grandmother’s chair a little to walk down the short hallway towards the kitchen. Off of the hallway were the restroom to the right and Grandma Nicky’s room to the left. Grandma Nicky always had a box of candy under her bed, and she would let me have a piece from time to time. My favorite was the almond roca. In the hallway ceiling was a large fan called a swamp fan. It sat on the roof and it is what cooled the house in the summer time. I small amount of water was used in a constant stream to keep the filters on all the sides damp and that is what cooled the house. There was swinging type of door before you walked into the kitchen that you could either close when you wanted to cooler primarily the front of the house or open to cool the kitchen as well.
The kitchen was huge! My Grandmother loved it, and she could truly worked magic in that kitchen. It was more than a kitchen of course. It was the gathering place for the family, it was the place we played penny ante poker, it was the room my Aunt Betty through the glass of buttermilk at the police in.
There was two more rooms in that house. Of f to the left was another bedroom and whoever happended to be there at the time stayed in that bedroom. Most of the time I did too, but if we had an extra grown up then I was designated to sleep on the couch. That didn’t seem to bother me at all. It was almost like having my own room.
Through the backdoor was a back porch which had been sealed in and in which my Poppa lived. To the right side was the washing machine, but to the left was Poppa’s room. Never in my life can I remember my Grandmother and Popa sleeping together nor any indication that they ever had sex.
I loved the floor in that room because Poppa had collected carpet scraps of every shape and color and had pieced them together like a giant jigsaw puzzle. It was great! The house had a large yard and two fruit trees in the back yard. An apricot tree and a plum tree. The apricot trees was easy to climb and I spent a lot of hours sitting in the tree.. There was also a large bar b que pit that looked like it was made to bar b que a whole steer in. We never used it, so I used it to play in and to keep my animals in if I had them.
In the far part of the back yard was an old shed and my Popa had a vegitable garden surrounding the shed. There were tomatoes, carrots, okara corn, green beand and ple beans, turnips, nad radishes, and eggplant among others. As I look back on that, I think that was a GREAT garden! What a great job they did on that and how much work must have went into it! I have attempted gardens here at my house but we don’t have a spot that suits it growing right, and it is SO expensive to grow your own veggies!

Funny the last time I posted was Feb. 11. That was the day the pit bull puppies were born down the street. We bought one today. They are selling them before they are weaned and we have to feed the baby with a bottle. His name is Luke. He has a white head, and a mix brindle and white body. He is just like a new born. Has to be fed all night and day. I guess I will have to take it to work with me tomorrow

We had great time in church last night. The Waynesboro Union Male Chorus was there! They are so good, Pastor's dad is one of them. We didn't make it to church this morning, but will go tonight.

I have been working in the yard all morning. Good exercise!

Tuesday, February 11

Destiny has had a high temp for 6 days now, but it totally goes away with Motrin. Still, I am home with her. I have been working on my auto biography a little bit. I don't spell check stuff til the very end, so you will see plenty of misspelling here!

I am still on my health plan and working out, eating right, and all. I don't trust any of the scales. This one at home says I am down to 202 pounds from my starting point of 216. I can't see that dramatic a change, but I do feel better. I am doing aerobics twice a week and walking/jobbing a lot! I just bought some Tae Bo tapes from a lady on Amazon. Think I can handle it? Of course I can!
Some more of the life story............

I remember the drive to California in my Grandma and Popa's Cadillac. It was the kind that had big fins on the back. The highway wasn't the way it is now, it was really just a road heading west. We stopped one time at an abondoned gas station and resteraunt and my grandmother and I went inside to potty.
There were signs along the way advertising gasoline. They all had big pictures of dinosaurs on them and I have found out later that that was the logo for Sinclair gas.
The next time I saw my mother was in Fresno California. She was married an pregnant. Her husbands name was Dwight Williamson. He was from Oklahoma. In the summer of 1964, my aunt took me with them to Missouri where my Uncle Jack's was from. I guess they wanted to give my mother and her new husband less stress during the time the baby would be born. I had a great time in Missouri. We fished, and I was able to keep the fish I caught in the horse trought. When I got back to California, my mother had given birth to my baby sister, Paula. We all got together and that time, me, my mother and sister, and her father. We all moved to Bakersfield Californa and that is eventually where I was raised.
I started Kindergarten when we lived in the house on L Street. As I grew older we would always refer to those few years as when we were in the house on L Street. It was basically a very happy time. My mother was happy. She wasn't drinking that I know of. She was working what she called the "graveyard shift" as a waitress, and my step dad was working in the oil fields. We were living the typical working class life, it was a happy time most of the time. There were a few issues with my step father that let me know he didn't really care for me as much as he did my younger sister. One time her and I were in the bathtub and I was squirting water on her through the gap in my front teeth. She was crying, but I kept on doing it. Dwight came into the bathroom, when he found out what was going on, he SPIT in my face and ask me how it felt.
There were other subtle things that let me know how he felt and many mornings I would lay in bed listening to the footsteps to determine where I was going to get up or try to stay in bed as long as I could tolerate it. His footsteps were heavy and my mother's were light and fast. One morning I had thought I heard his footsteps and had stayed in bed as long as I could, but when I got up it was my mother and I was so disappointed that I had not gotten up sooner.
The time on L Street ended when my step father stole my little sister in the middle of the night and took her to Oklahoma. My mother and I stood in the middle of each room with a man with us, and she went from room to room telling him how much she wanted for the furnishings. We had gotten a dog named Boots and a Cat named Pussy (I named them after the story "Puss and Boots") while we were there. We left the them both outside the house on L Street and we caught a Greyhound bus to go to Oklahoma and get my little sister.
Dwight had taken Paula to his mother's house in Shawnee and that is where we went. Mother had manipulated the situation to where Dwight thought they were getting back together. Soon, one morning, he went to work and my mother had told me our plan to take Paula and run. We waited until her grandmother went into the bathroom and we picked up our suitcases and Paula, and RAN! We caught another Greyhound bus back to Bakersfield. This would make my 6th cross country trip.
Memories around the next time get a little sketchy. We had a duplex apartment for a while and my older sister Sherry was there with us. Moma had a couple of boyfriends, but things were okay. Then one day Dwight showed up. I still wonder sometimes how he found us this time. Anyway, there was another plan and this one had a man coming to the door and delivaring divorce papers to Dwight, and my Sister Sherry and I running out the back door with Paula. We had a motel room ready at the Royal Palms Motor Inn and we went there and got the room. It was in my mother's boyfriends name, Harry Hake. Eventually mother and Harry showed up, but Dwight had found us soon there after. He managed to get Paula after he knocked Harry Hake through a plate glass door. Things kind of went downhill from there. I think my older sister went back to live with her father and mother drank a lot. On my 6th Birthday, I woke my Mom up and she gave me $5 and told me to go to a friends house and have her mother get me a cake. I was sad. I walked to the drive in resteraunt on the corner and bought myself and handburger with mayonaise only. Then I decided I would walk back to the house and try to wake my mother up again. When I got there my Grandmother and Popa were there. By this time they had moved from Fresno California to Lindsay. They got my clothes and took me with them back to Lindsay.
It turned out to be a great birthday! Grandma made me a cake with three teirs. I missed my mother, but I loved my Grandma and Popa too. At this point, we were blessed because my great grandma Nicky lived two doors down, and I was able to stay with her when my grandma and popa were working. My brother Billy came to live with us some time during that time, but they sold the house eventually, even though Popa had put in a new cedar closet and we moved to Bakersfield. I wonder if it was to keep an eye on Moma.

Monday, February 3

"A few scars, a little aging of the skin, all traced with beautiful
memories and perhaps not so great moments in nlife. Our bodies are
gifts! You'd be amazed at how you can change it from bad to good just
as you can from good to bad. If only it were as easy! Stay
positive, you never know til you get there!"

That is a quote from the "leader" in a fitness group I belong to now on Yahoo. It's the only group I really have time for lately. Did I tell you I am trying to get more healthy and LOSE weight?

I have been eating like a hog ever since I as on my Hep C treatment, and I just can't go on like this. I am up to 215 pounds. I weighed 170 when I met my husband and got down to 150 soon thereafter. I have been steadily gaining weigh for about the last year and a half!

I keep record of what I eat and what activities I have on Fit Day, like I mentioned before. I like the group in Yahoo. It's called FitnessExchange!

I am up for comments and advice now...................

Thursday, January 30

A friend of mine does the Addiction and Recovery Ministry at this church. First Baptist Church of College Hill - Tampa, Florida

Wednesday, January 22

Sunday, January 19

And the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the play offs!!!! We are going to the Super Bowl!!! Go Bucs, Go Bucs!

I have to do one for a class I am taking, and so I will put parts here.

My first memory was of riding a tricylce around a house that had a lot of tombstones in front of it. Did I know they were tombstones then? I'm not sure, but I can see them now sitting there in the front yard. My tricycle was read and I could ride it around the side walk that went around the house very fast, but I had to be quiet because there were people in the front room of the house and they were very sad. I mustn't shout or laugh loudly. My aunt walked me through the front of the house past the people, some of whom were crying, back to back where the bedrooms were. We were going to take a nap, but we would ride our bicycles first by holding our legs in the air and peddling as fast as we could for as long as we could. Then we would take our nap. This memory is of a time I lived in an area of Oklahoma with my Grandmother's Brother and his Wife. The name I remember was Aunt Nell and Uncle Granvil. They had a business selling headstones.
I was born in 1960 to Stanley and Patsy Dean Snyder. My father was a Marine stationed in San Diego, California. He was a handsome young man from Kentucky and he met my mother in a bar. She was wearing pink. My mother had been married before and had given birth to two children, a girl Sherry who was born with problems in her hips, and a boy Billy. She divorced her first husband while he was in prison. Right before she married my father. It is my understanding that she had two other children (boys) in between my Brother Billy and me, but not a lot of people know about that. My mother told me, but she never told my father and my older sister doesn't seem to know much about it either. My mother told me they had black hair and were adopted by a preacher.
My mother and father's relationship was a turbulent one. I have heard different things from different people over the years, and in this paper I will attempt to be as honest as possible. I will change the facts as needed and based on who I give to read this. I would never let my father know that I would ever put down on paper some of the things I plan to share here. There are other things, I would not want my husband or children to know, but I am writing this for an anonymus person. Who are you? I don't know, but I know that there are a lot of things that need to go down here, and it ALL is going to go down here. Will I be able to finish this paper for my Portfolio class that I am going to write it for? Maybe not. Maybe after writing today, I will stop and do an outline, write the basics for the class and then continue on for myself. I will put in on my web log. Most of it. Not that parts that can affect anyone living, or hurt someone's feelings. That is not the reason for this. The reason is that it needs to be documented. The why's and the where's of who I am. So I will continue.............

Tuesday, January 14

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Wednesday, January 8

Hillsborough House Of Hope
Northoftampa: Tireless helper heeds a call: House of Hope
Okay, I have all kinds of news.

First of all, Patty the girl that came to stay with us over the holidays waiting to go to a new Christ based home, has now gotten in the new home. As I have mentioned before, it is called the Hillsborough House of Hope. I want to tell you, that that house is gorgeous, and those ladies are blessed to have such a nice place! The other woman got out of jail yesterday, so now there are two there, Patty and Rose and the house mother that lives there. So that's all good news.

Secondly, I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I had found a friend of mine from 7th grade online. I actually initially found her using Classmates.com, but I didn't want to spend that money, so I was able to find out her new last name for free.............I then called directory assistance and got a phone number and went from there. ANYWAY...............I am from California originally and she still lives there except farther south than our home town of Bakersfield.............LOLOLOLOL. But her and her lovely family were in town this week and they came by our house, and we all went to Celebration Station and had pizza, and the kids played, and it was wonderful!!!!!!!!

I just had such a good time, and it was so good to see her. Her husband was a really neat guy as well, it was just great.

So..............Happy days for me huh????

I have started back to school as well. Had my first class last Friday and will be going again this Saturday! I do have 60 credits now though, so it won't be too much longer!

Sunday, January 5

I have been involved in helping a friend of mine start a house for ladies. Patty, who is still with me, will be one of the first ladies in the home. The following is an article the have done on my friend. Please email me and tell me what you think!
Giving her golden years
She thought retirement would be for reading or traveling. But her heart told her otherwise: She was meant to help others.

© St. Petersburg Times, published January 3, 2003


BAYSHORE GARDENS -- In the same sweet voice one might use to offer lemonade, she admits she's not "some do-gooder woman."

But Margaret Palmer, steely, southern and preoccupied, says she's finally doing what God "made me to do."

At 76, trifled only by a hint of bursitis, Palmer still walks the walk.

Stories spill out about the women she's counseled in prison, the ones who keep hitting the streets and returning, over and over. Knee to knee with them, she has prayed for good to replace grim.

Once known as CHAT ladies -- short for "come hide away and talk" -- Palmer and a brigade of volunteers from a local Bible study class began an informal women's ministry in the mid 1980s at the Hillsborough County Jail.

She'll speak of the women she knew there, in that place with no air-conditioning or heat, where cell doors clanged shut like death knells.

Palmer's been at it for 18 years now, and she's learned something troubling: "When many of these women leave the jail, often they're more afraid of the unknown than going back to the streets," she says. "Sometimes they have nowhere to go, and the streets are the only option."

Sometimes reality is even more harsh.

"A lot of times a pimp or drug dealer will find out when a woman is being released," she says. "Even if the woman doesn't tell them, word travels fast. Then they track her down, and she goes right back to her old life."

Palmer is the force behind a new Christian residential program for women recently released from county jail.

She and about nine volunteer board members run a small, not-for-profit organization that holds the remaining $75,000 mortgage on a modest house they bought earlier this year.

Refusing to call it a halfway house, she has christened the two-story dwelling House of Hope. She wants to keep its location secret -- because a chance to start over means no pimps, no drug dealers and no loser ex-boyfriends. It opens Tuesday.

The idea sprang out of depression.

Five years ago, Palmer realized she had reached an age when most people are content to simply have fun, but she couldn't bear the idea of idleness. A commitment toward activism burned inside her.

She had raised two children, supported her husband through three terms in the Georgia Legislature, worked off and on in radio news, theater production and event planning, found God and volunteered dutifully. Her prison ministry had brought hope to many women.

Palmer just kept wondering if there could be more. "I went to see my minister, who said, 'Margaret, has it ever dawned on you that maybe it's time for you to be doing something that you really ought to be doing?"'

Then she knew: Palmer began recruiting volunteers and talking to law enforcement experts about the feasibility of a residential program that might really change women's lives.

"Margaret has a very compelling mission and is also a very compelling person," says Claudia Sellers, an insurance executive and volunteer executive director of House of Hope.

"She is answering a calling so late in life, at a time when most people are winding down. I have never seen a woman so full of energy and joy."

House of Hope is plain-faced and old enough to have a big front porch. It's hidden in a tree-lined residential neighborhood on the edges of downtown. Three churches -- Hyde Park United Methodist, Bayshore Baptist and the Lutz-based Grace Family Church -- have offered support.

It's been prettied up on a shoestring. One church member has loaned his carpentry and painting skills. Others have helped make it welcoming.

With a $500 budget, a group of five women friends -- walking partners, previously -- have sewn floral curtains and throw-pillow covers, arranged donated furniture and covered the twin beds in matching comforters and shams.

"We're not church-going or religious people, but we respect what Margaret Palmer is doing," says Georgia Arner, who lives in the same Apollo Beach neighborhood as Sellers.

Adept at sewing, decorating and rummaging through bargain bins, they refused the initial $1,000 budget and offered to get by on half "so the house could use the money for other things," Arner says.

House of Hope will serve only three women at a time. Palmer believes in full attention on a small number of women.

Because the program is religious, enrollment is voluntary, but admission will be competitive, "sort of like getting into Harvard," says Sellers.

The women will be expected to hold full-time jobs and will live under the watchful eye of an on-site residential manager.

Over the years, Palmer has made friends in the right places. Experts with backgrounds in nutrition, parenting and job skills will offer the women counseling. She has asked the three churches to each adopt a woman: "That way they can help take care of her clothing and personal needs."

Palmer and her husband, Tom, have been married 55 years. They live Canterbury Towers, a retirement community on Bayshore Boulevard, where meals are provided and they can ease into onsite healthcare if they need it and "never be a burden to our children."

The view of Tampa Bay from their apartment is magnificent. For all of this, Palmer is grateful. But she is not content to sit and look out the window.

"This had long been a dream and I knew there was a need. God finally opened the door and pushed," Palmer says.

"This is not the way I expected to spend the decade of my 70s. People ask me what I plan to do during these years. I had thought I would read and travel a lot. Now I have this house and a big mortgage. When I look at the figures, I say, 'My God, what are you doing?"'

She already knows the answer: Exactly what God wants her to do.

-- For more information about the House of Hope, call 839-6118.

Margaret Palmer
AGE: 76

MARRIED: 55 years

HUSBAND: Tom Palmer


VOCATION: Gives hope to women in jail

LATEST PROJECT: House of Hope, a residential program for women newly released from the Hillsborough County Jail

HOBBY: Reading historical novels

HOME: Canterbury Tower, Bayshore Boulevard

FAVORITE VIEW: Hillsborough Bay, from her window

Saturday, January 4

I was just reading my old stuff from 2000. Weird
Want to see me live? LOOK HERE I have been having tons of fun with this new camera!!!
I'm going to Ross today and try to find some new dresses so I will at least look kinda (not so fat) cute going back to work the 6th. We have tons going on here today................we are trying to get the new TV, DVD/VHS hooked up along with the DirectTV thingy in our room.

I have to get the girls' hair done by someone, because I don't like to do it if I can avoid it. Give me boys anyday!!