Saturday, June 23

Just got home from a meeting.

There was a 17 year old boy there. He said he was on house arrest and was bored and was having feeling like he want to go use. He was smoking and drinking coffee, and had a baby face. I truly felt for him. No way in the world would I want to be that age again and go through the shit I had to go through. I hope he makes it, but he would have to really want to make that change for it to work. He claimed alcoholism, but I wonder if he really knows the meaning or if has totally admitted that he is too weak to control it. Thing like that are hard to admit for grown people who have been through the worst.

I thought of my own children and my mother. My mother died in her drug addiction (pills). I grew up with alcholism and drug addiction, and they say it is hereditary. I can not use that as an excuse for what I did in my life though, all I can do is make a different life for my children. All I can do is pray and thank God I don't have to live a life of insanity and strife. I have to option to choose a life where I deal with things on their own terms, and I don't have to medicate myself to be able to handle what life deals out. I am blessed.

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