Leroy working late again
That's not really a bad thing though because the rain keeps him from working and it it suppose to pour down tomorrow. I won't complain though, not after the drought we had!!
Leroy and I talked a lot about some of the issues we have been having. I think he understands how I am feeling now and I know how he feels now too. I have to keep in mind that his opinion has just as much value as mine, and that I am not always right, although I always feel I am. Neither of us are perfect. But we both love one another.
Now I just want to get to the point where I can talk to my teenage son too. I know I say things that hurts his feelings, but he should be at an age where I have to keep telling him things over and over and over and over and over and over and over, etc. I think I will see if I work on how I talk to him, if he will work on doing what he is suppose to. Think that will work?
Tuesday, July 31
Count Down!!!!
Just three more work days before our vacation and I get to see my sister after 25 years! That still just amazes me. I can't wait! I just wished school didn't start on the 8th of August. Who ever heard of school starting on the 8th of August. We will be leaving Tampa about 2 or 3 a.m. Saturday and coming back Tuesday the evening of the 7th. I am really looking forward to it, which doesn't do me any good at work........I'm just waiting for my vacation!
Just three more work days before our vacation and I get to see my sister after 25 years! That still just amazes me. I can't wait! I just wished school didn't start on the 8th of August. Who ever heard of school starting on the 8th of August. We will be leaving Tampa about 2 or 3 a.m. Saturday and coming back Tuesday the evening of the 7th. I am really looking forward to it, which doesn't do me any good at work........I'm just waiting for my vacation!
Work, Work, Work
I have a new young lady that started yesterday, who is going to help with our job development. Enhance the relationship with our existing employers etc. Remember I work at a non profit organization helping people find jobs. Hit the icon for Econonmic Development when you get there and then the Career Resource Center.
I have a new young lady that started yesterday, who is going to help with our job development. Enhance the relationship with our existing employers etc. Remember I work at a non profit organization helping people find jobs. Hit the icon for Econonmic Development when you get there and then the Career Resource Center.
Monday, July 30
Dinner
Sorry folks, just good ol' tomatoe soup and crackers tonight.
The girls are already showered and Georgie is playing his PlayStation. Jake is fixin' the cage for the Iguana. We had a chicken wire cage and we put him outside, but he wouldn't eat and was looking sick so we put him back in the 20 gal. tank in the house which is much too small for him. Anyway.......now he hasn't pooped for a week, but he is fat again ;-). So we brought the chicken wire cage in the house and Jake is putting newspaper in the bottom. I'll bet he goes when we put him in there. He loves messing up a clean cage and he always goes when he gets nervous.
Welp, now Daddy is home and Georgie needs to get in the shower and I want to see how Moe the Iguana reacts to the cage change ;-)!
Sorry folks, just good ol' tomatoe soup and crackers tonight.
The girls are already showered and Georgie is playing his PlayStation. Jake is fixin' the cage for the Iguana. We had a chicken wire cage and we put him outside, but he wouldn't eat and was looking sick so we put him back in the 20 gal. tank in the house which is much too small for him. Anyway.......now he hasn't pooped for a week, but he is fat again ;-). So we brought the chicken wire cage in the house and Jake is putting newspaper in the bottom. I'll bet he goes when we put him in there. He loves messing up a clean cage and he always goes when he gets nervous.
Welp, now Daddy is home and Georgie needs to get in the shower and I want to see how Moe the Iguana reacts to the cage change ;-)!
Yesterday's post
I got a worried email today about the post I posted when I was mad yesterday, so I went back and read it over to see if what I said was that bad. You know what, IT WAS! Jesus Christ, what an attitude I get sometimes! But you know what, it felt so good to get it out! It's a lot better than saying ugly words to your spouse that you can't take back, and I don't mind tellin' you, I wanted to say ugly words ;-)!
The whole thing seems so funny now. It was all about Jamila getting a third bowl of cereal and Leroy calling her greedy. It hurt her feelings or so I thought. Once she got the cereal, she was okay. Anyway I felt like he was a big bully and how dare he hurt her feelings! Now think about it..........does that sh*t make any sense? Today, to me, it doesn't. Yesterday, it did.
As far as his daughter goes. I'm just glad she called at all. It has been a LONG time and I know how badly he feels about not having contact with her.
Children are selfish you know. Jamila is, so is his daughter Markeda. Parents are endless sources of whatever they feel they need. Jamila had already had two bowls of cereal, but I'm sure she never considered one of her sisters or brothers might have wanted another bowl, and by the same token I'm sure Markeda has never considered that we already pay her Mother $350 a month in child support, and we truly have no extra money. Had I known this would have came up, I could have started saving a long time ago. I told Leroy that it would probably be possible, now that she is 18, that we could make those checks out to her and she could use that for the car, but he said that wouldn't be enough (yet I don't know why not!). You see we are only obligated to pay child support now, until she graduates high school which is probably 2 semesters. I don't know what he plans to do. He even talked about selling his truck (which is his pride and joy).
So.....as you can see......relationships already aren't easy, add a mix of kids, even the mix of races, and you have unique problems. One thing though, if you truly love someone, you communicate, comprimise, collaborate, and do what it takes to have a happy family. As long as both partners are willing to do that, it will all work out. This is my sermon for the day.......
I got a worried email today about the post I posted when I was mad yesterday, so I went back and read it over to see if what I said was that bad. You know what, IT WAS! Jesus Christ, what an attitude I get sometimes! But you know what, it felt so good to get it out! It's a lot better than saying ugly words to your spouse that you can't take back, and I don't mind tellin' you, I wanted to say ugly words ;-)!
The whole thing seems so funny now. It was all about Jamila getting a third bowl of cereal and Leroy calling her greedy. It hurt her feelings or so I thought. Once she got the cereal, she was okay. Anyway I felt like he was a big bully and how dare he hurt her feelings! Now think about it..........does that sh*t make any sense? Today, to me, it doesn't. Yesterday, it did.
As far as his daughter goes. I'm just glad she called at all. It has been a LONG time and I know how badly he feels about not having contact with her.
Children are selfish you know. Jamila is, so is his daughter Markeda. Parents are endless sources of whatever they feel they need. Jamila had already had two bowls of cereal, but I'm sure she never considered one of her sisters or brothers might have wanted another bowl, and by the same token I'm sure Markeda has never considered that we already pay her Mother $350 a month in child support, and we truly have no extra money. Had I known this would have came up, I could have started saving a long time ago. I told Leroy that it would probably be possible, now that she is 18, that we could make those checks out to her and she could use that for the car, but he said that wouldn't be enough (yet I don't know why not!). You see we are only obligated to pay child support now, until she graduates high school which is probably 2 semesters. I don't know what he plans to do. He even talked about selling his truck (which is his pride and joy).
So.....as you can see......relationships already aren't easy, add a mix of kids, even the mix of races, and you have unique problems. One thing though, if you truly love someone, you communicate, comprimise, collaborate, and do what it takes to have a happy family. As long as both partners are willing to do that, it will all work out. This is my sermon for the day.......
Sunday, July 29
Dinner
I must post what's for dinner for my friend KindlyRat, a link to whose page you will find at the bottom left, and if he starts calling me Grandpa, he's going to get it! Anyway........we're having hot wings, turnip greens, cornbread, mashed potatoes and salad. I had a chef teach me the secret to hot wing sauce. Know what it is, half margarine and half hotsauce. K.I.S.S. Also it is important you cook the wings nekkid, i.e., no spice at all......and that is the secret. Georgie made the cornbread again, we use Jiffy Mix and add maple syrup, so it is sweet. I add lemon pepper to the greens and I really wanted mashed potatoes for days although it doesn't really go with the meal.
Uh oh, have to get the last batch of wings out..........
I must post what's for dinner for my friend KindlyRat, a link to whose page you will find at the bottom left, and if he starts calling me Grandpa, he's going to get it! Anyway........we're having hot wings, turnip greens, cornbread, mashed potatoes and salad. I had a chef teach me the secret to hot wing sauce. Know what it is, half margarine and half hotsauce. K.I.S.S. Also it is important you cook the wings nekkid, i.e., no spice at all......and that is the secret. Georgie made the cornbread again, we use Jiffy Mix and add maple syrup, so it is sweet. I add lemon pepper to the greens and I really wanted mashed potatoes for days although it doesn't really go with the meal.
Uh oh, have to get the last batch of wings out..........
My children, your children
Sometimes it sucks when you marry and you have children and he has children. The children try to play you against each other and any comment you make is taken as a "my children" issue. I have went out of my way to insure that my children are considered Leroy's. I truly believe that if a man raises and financially supports children that are there we he got there, that they should be considered his and he should have certain rights pertaining to those children. This is.....if the child's biological father chooses not to be active in that child's life. Yet if I comment, it is because they are "my children". I comment because I am "their mother" and I can friggin' comment on anything pertaining to them any friggin' time I want to, and I do not give a shit who I am commenting to. Yes, they are "my children" and they will always be "my children". Whether or not he feels like they are "our children", that is the issue. He can comment when I do something he feels inappropriate, but I can't. What kind of shit is that?
Yet, when "his daughter" calls only when she wants something (this time a car). I have no right to comment at all. Why hasn't she called when we send Christmas and Birthday gifts? Or at ANY other time at all. But if there is money to be had, all of a sudden there is a call.
I am tired of being the bad guy. I have done all I can to share my life with the man I married. That includes the bad and the good. I do not deserve this bullshit.
I am turning into one of those people who complain about their spouse all the time. I need to keep this to myself, don't I?
Sometimes it sucks when you marry and you have children and he has children. The children try to play you against each other and any comment you make is taken as a "my children" issue. I have went out of my way to insure that my children are considered Leroy's. I truly believe that if a man raises and financially supports children that are there we he got there, that they should be considered his and he should have certain rights pertaining to those children. This is.....if the child's biological father chooses not to be active in that child's life. Yet if I comment, it is because they are "my children". I comment because I am "their mother" and I can friggin' comment on anything pertaining to them any friggin' time I want to, and I do not give a shit who I am commenting to. Yes, they are "my children" and they will always be "my children". Whether or not he feels like they are "our children", that is the issue. He can comment when I do something he feels inappropriate, but I can't. What kind of shit is that?
Yet, when "his daughter" calls only when she wants something (this time a car). I have no right to comment at all. Why hasn't she called when we send Christmas and Birthday gifts? Or at ANY other time at all. But if there is money to be had, all of a sudden there is a call.
I am tired of being the bad guy. I have done all I can to share my life with the man I married. That includes the bad and the good. I do not deserve this bullshit.
I am turning into one of those people who complain about their spouse all the time. I need to keep this to myself, don't I?
Good Morning
Well, Jake comes home today! It's about time. Although the week has flown by, I kinda miss the fart head.
It's a nice morning. Leroy has the kids cleaning their rooms, which I have been trying to get done all week and I can't seem to get accomplished. I am going to make cereal this morning, but I have no clue what I am going to make for dinner. I am open for suggestions.
Well, Jake comes home today! It's about time. Although the week has flown by, I kinda miss the fart head.
It's a nice morning. Leroy has the kids cleaning their rooms, which I have been trying to get done all week and I can't seem to get accomplished. I am going to make cereal this morning, but I have no clue what I am going to make for dinner. I am open for suggestions.
Saturday, July 28
Day's End
I've gotten the girl's hair done (Jamila, Lee Lee, and Destiny), washed, conditioned, detangled, and braided. I finished most of the Family Details page, that is listed on the right hand side of this page. That way folks can know who I am talking about. I have just got out kids right now, but I can expand it to include other folks I talk about.
I can now make as many pages on Homestead as I want, so I might start a recipe main page with links to recipes. I've been asked to do that before and it might be fun. Maybe I can get my sister Paula to contribute to it. She does a mean Chicken Enchilada. I could get lots of people to contribute their favorite recipes and try them out before making them part of the site ;-)!!!! I have to think of a name for it......maybe the Cheap Recipe Site ;-)!!!
I made Sloppy Joes and green beans tonight, and I still have heart burn. I've been hungry all day long and snacking. That's just what I need. Well I think I'll go take a look at what some of my favorite folks have been doing......
I've gotten the girl's hair done (Jamila, Lee Lee, and Destiny), washed, conditioned, detangled, and braided. I finished most of the Family Details page, that is listed on the right hand side of this page. That way folks can know who I am talking about. I have just got out kids right now, but I can expand it to include other folks I talk about.
I can now make as many pages on Homestead as I want, so I might start a recipe main page with links to recipes. I've been asked to do that before and it might be fun. Maybe I can get my sister Paula to contribute to it. She does a mean Chicken Enchilada. I could get lots of people to contribute their favorite recipes and try them out before making them part of the site ;-)!!!! I have to think of a name for it......maybe the Cheap Recipe Site ;-)!!!
I made Sloppy Joes and green beans tonight, and I still have heart burn. I've been hungry all day long and snacking. That's just what I need. Well I think I'll go take a look at what some of my favorite folks have been doing......
Back from the store
The kids just about ran me crazy at Kash N Karry. I have all the groceries in the house, and am eating left over pizza. I am going to go start watching "Bojangles" which we rented from Blockbuster last night, and put stuff up in a half hour or so. I could really use Jacob right about now. ;-)
The kids just about ran me crazy at Kash N Karry. I have all the groceries in the house, and am eating left over pizza. I am going to go start watching "Bojangles" which we rented from Blockbuster last night, and put stuff up in a half hour or so. I could really use Jacob right about now. ;-)
Back Awake Again
I am beginning to feel like I am just spending short amount of times between sleep. I do feel perkier this time though. I am waiting for the kids to clean their rooms so we can go to the grocery store. I hear Destiny crying in there, Jamila just came out and told me Destiny is crying because she tried to beat up Lee Lee and Lee Lee wouldn't cry. See when I have my page on FAMILY DETAILS done you can just click there and know who the heck I am talking about the things will make sense to those who aren't regulars ;-).
I guess today is the day I will steal the little icons I love so much from Yard Sale , whom I affectionately call "KIDDO". He has some really neat little icons for AIM and MSN Messenger that he said I could steal a long time ago. I don't have ICQ, but from what I've heard it's too much of a pain anyway.
Guess I better start getting prepared to go shopping........
I am beginning to feel like I am just spending short amount of times between sleep. I do feel perkier this time though. I am waiting for the kids to clean their rooms so we can go to the grocery store. I hear Destiny crying in there, Jamila just came out and told me Destiny is crying because she tried to beat up Lee Lee and Lee Lee wouldn't cry. See when I have my page on FAMILY DETAILS done you can just click there and know who the heck I am talking about the things will make sense to those who aren't regulars ;-).
I guess today is the day I will steal the little icons I love so much from Yard Sale , whom I affectionately call "KIDDO". He has some really neat little icons for AIM and MSN Messenger that he said I could steal a long time ago. I don't have ICQ, but from what I've heard it's too much of a pain anyway.
Guess I better start getting prepared to go shopping........
Friday, July 27
Home Early
I ened up having to come home early. It's like I have no energy at all. I got home about 2:30 p.m., and slept until Leroy got home about 4:30. I have laid out hamburger meat and really should think of what I can do with it., but it may go in the fridge and I amy order pizza. One thing that is NOT suffering is my appetite. I managed to grill lemon pepper chicken last night. We had a big storm and our electricity got knocked out for quite a while, and the gas grill was out of gas, so Leroy went in the storm to get gas so we could have dinner. I grilled the chicken and some corn and the kids loved it.
I want to go to the beach again tomorrow, so I hope I perk up. I've also been wanting to cook a pot of pinto beans with smoked turkey wings, and cornbread. I haven't cooked a good pot of beans for quite a while. I remember a time when I was 19 years old and living with this young man (no one important), that all we had to eat most of the time was beans and potatoes. I was living in Lamont, CA and working in a potatoe shed. We lived with his Mom (who spent all her time in the local bar to get away from all the kids). He had 3 or 4 of his grown brothers and sisters living there too. We were really poor obviously, the potatoes were free, and what little money we made at the potatoe shed we usually drank up. Damn I was stupid when I was young. The worst part was, I was really bright and could have accomplished anything at a young age. Instead I have to waste all those years. BUT, if I can help someone else by sharing those mistakes so that maybe they won't make them, then it will have been worth it.
I ened up having to come home early. It's like I have no energy at all. I got home about 2:30 p.m., and slept until Leroy got home about 4:30. I have laid out hamburger meat and really should think of what I can do with it., but it may go in the fridge and I amy order pizza. One thing that is NOT suffering is my appetite. I managed to grill lemon pepper chicken last night. We had a big storm and our electricity got knocked out for quite a while, and the gas grill was out of gas, so Leroy went in the storm to get gas so we could have dinner. I grilled the chicken and some corn and the kids loved it.
I want to go to the beach again tomorrow, so I hope I perk up. I've also been wanting to cook a pot of pinto beans with smoked turkey wings, and cornbread. I haven't cooked a good pot of beans for quite a while. I remember a time when I was 19 years old and living with this young man (no one important), that all we had to eat most of the time was beans and potatoes. I was living in Lamont, CA and working in a potatoe shed. We lived with his Mom (who spent all her time in the local bar to get away from all the kids). He had 3 or 4 of his grown brothers and sisters living there too. We were really poor obviously, the potatoes were free, and what little money we made at the potatoe shed we usually drank up. Damn I was stupid when I was young. The worst part was, I was really bright and could have accomplished anything at a young age. Instead I have to waste all those years. BUT, if I can help someone else by sharing those mistakes so that maybe they won't make them, then it will have been worth it.
TGIF
Well, I am back to work. I am still tired, I guess from the drugs yesterday. I slept good last night, from about 8 p.m. until almost 6:30 this morning. I have to start getting some names together for our fundraising luncheon in August. One thing about working for a nonprofit, you are always looking for money.
Well, I am back to work. I am still tired, I guess from the drugs yesterday. I slept good last night, from about 8 p.m. until almost 6:30 this morning. I have to start getting some names together for our fundraising luncheon in August. One thing about working for a nonprofit, you are always looking for money.
Thursday, July 26
Reunion
I had been looking off and on for quite while for a girl I had went to school with in 7th grade, and this time I found her! Isn't the Internet amazing? Laura and I had been best friend and it was so nice catching up with her.
My biopsy went well. It WAS painful, but they gave me demerol afterwards. I'm just glad it's done and now we can find out if there has been any damage done. From all the tests so far though, things are looking really good. I want to thank all of you who prayed for me and wished me well.
I had been looking off and on for quite while for a girl I had went to school with in 7th grade, and this time I found her! Isn't the Internet amazing? Laura and I had been best friend and it was so nice catching up with her.
My biopsy went well. It WAS painful, but they gave me demerol afterwards. I'm just glad it's done and now we can find out if there has been any damage done. From all the tests so far though, things are looking really good. I want to thank all of you who prayed for me and wished me well.
Nervous?
Leroy's lunch is made, breakfast for the girls and Leroy complete. So I can sit down a minute ;-). I guess I am a little nervous about the thing today. Mainly the cat scan thing. They do that to find out where to put the big needle in your liver to suck a piece out. You know this stuff sounds kind of gross. For some reason I feel kind of alone.......I kind of want someone to make a big deal out of it, even though it probably isn't. I gues sometimes I want to be babied too, but you won't hear me admit it out loud. At least not when I need it. I'll wait 'til it's over and then make everyone feel guilty they couldn't read my mind. After all, shouldn't everyone know that this is the time, out of a million times, that I need extra attention. How silly I can be.
Leroy's lunch is made, breakfast for the girls and Leroy complete. So I can sit down a minute ;-). I guess I am a little nervous about the thing today. Mainly the cat scan thing. They do that to find out where to put the big needle in your liver to suck a piece out. You know this stuff sounds kind of gross. For some reason I feel kind of alone.......I kind of want someone to make a big deal out of it, even though it probably isn't. I gues sometimes I want to be babied too, but you won't hear me admit it out loud. At least not when I need it. I'll wait 'til it's over and then make everyone feel guilty they couldn't read my mind. After all, shouldn't everyone know that this is the time, out of a million times, that I need extra attention. How silly I can be.
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