Wisdom of the South, or

Things a True Southerner Knows:

1. The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
2. Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
3. What general direction cattywumpus is.
4. When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
5. How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a
country store.
6. Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!
7. A good dog is worth its weight in gold.
8. Real gravy don't come from the store.
9. When "by and by" is.
10. The difference between "pert near" and "a right far piece."
11. Never to go snipe hunting twice.
12. At one point learned what happens when you swallow
tobacco juice.
13. Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
14. You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll'em
up past the elbows.
15. Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
16. Rocking chairs, and swings with an old person in them, are
history lessons.