I don't know why I have tried to just not be a part of conversations about the war. I have my opinions of course, but a lot of people I care about don't share my sentiments.

Although I am a registered democrat, I have always considered myself somewhat conservative. Now this comes from a convicted felon who grew up in the projects. My family would remind me that I didn't always live in the projects and that is true. I left home at 13 and my life from then was pretty much self-inflicted madness. I think about the way I allowed myself to be abused and to abuse, and I can't even imagine why someone would put themselves through that. I now can't understand why Joy is in the same situation.

Anyway, since then..........I am a pretty typical American Mom. We go to church, we work, we worry about our children. I wish women would not abort their children. I know it is murder, but I would not bomb an abortion clinic. Unlike many of the people I most respect, I DO NOT believe in capital punishment. I just don't believe that is for us to do. People have asked me what if something horrific happened to one of my children. If I don't have time to think about it, my gut response is that I would kill them myself. But I really believe that is not what the Bible calls for us to do, either me doing it, or the courts ordering it done.

I don't like what is happening in Iraq, and I don't feel good about what we, as a country, are doing there. My son, my flesh and blood, in Marine Boot Camp today, may very well be deployed to Iraq. I am proud of my son and his convictions. He is a young man of integrety (or if not now he will be when the Drill Seargent gets through with him), but why should he risk his life if the very people he wants to protect, hate him or don't want him there anyway. I have a hard time believing that Jesus approved of war.

Me, in all my self richeous sickness surfed the web today until I found one of the beheadnings online and I watched it. I thought about what I would feel if that were my son, and then I tried to think about how I would feel if one of the Iraqi men were my son.

I searched a lot of websites and some were of folks that are in Iraq. What amazed me most was the excellent English. I wonder if they teach English in the schools there, or if they are actually English people living there, or if they are fakes.

I have tried not to see what is going on, but now a part of me is involved and I feel ill equiped to handle the situation.